Musings about Life

Thursday, September 27, 2012
I am an introvert. Alot of people don't think I am, because I have learned how to hide it. I've adapted to the world and the expectations of the world. I think this is because of my life experiences.
I used to pride myself that while my peers were contemplating university or paying off student loans, or getting a 'good job at an office,' I was travelling the world, experiencing many cultures, having many life-altering adventures, meeting many people from many different spheres of life and learning how the world turned, in the real world.

And that suited me just fine, because while I was definitely an introvert, I craved life. Introverts are great observers of people. Writers have extraordinary memories because observation of other people and other worlds and the detail of daily life that usually goes unnoticed by most are what interests us. It's what we're passionate about. I remember my 5th form English teacher telling me that one of my greatest talents was my attention to detail in my writings. (Well, that can be a bad thing too, as some of my more lengthy blog postings bear testament).

And it's weird, but somehow this year, with my epiphany that came with my coming of age (40) and the events that have transpired this year to throw the foundations of my life all up in the air, I find myself reverting back to my introvert self. It is a comfort to me, in a world that has turned upside-down.

I want to know who my true friends are. I've questioned that alot this year. Friends have always been important to me.
And I don't want to do things that make me uncomfortable anymore.

Tomorrow night I am going to a dance at the school with my eldest son. I bought a pretty dress for it and I'm looking forward to a special time with him, celebrating the end of his childhood years, I guess, before he encroaches on the world of highschool and the growing load of responsibility. But I have to go into an environment that makes me uncomfortable. I pretty much only know two other people who will be there - the principal of the middle school, and the mother of one of my children's friends. There would have been two others, but they are not going to be there, for one reason or another. And I'm kind of tired of talking to people who are not interested in talking to me. What I would most like is to walk into a room full of people who I'm familiar with, and comfortable with. I guess some of what I'm feeling comes with having moved location so many times. I'm just tired of trying to find someone you click with. With us introverts it doesn't happen very often, but when it does, you pretty much have a friend for life. In each town that we have moved to, I've been fortunate enough to meet at least one person who I have instantly connected with - even here in Tauranga.

The world is so superficial, so busy, so wrapped up in doing what pleases them that they are not interested in pleasing other people. I find that alot these days. When you have moved around as much as we have, you notice it more, I guess. It's the penalty we are paying for technology, for greater opportunity, for a higher standard of living. But is it worth the loss of community?

I get tired of being told that you have to join this group, or that group, or join here or there, to meet people and make friends. I hate that I have to be defined into an' interest group' to meet like-minded people. Why do I hate it? Other people seem to accept it. Why can't I? I don't know the answer to that - I just know that it irritates me that society has to be broken down into little interest-groups.

I grew up in a small town - where we mixed with our neighbours; where new kids at school were interesting and accepted, where family get-togethers were part of our weekends, where our teachers were our parents' friends, where everyone knew who you were and who your parents were and who your grandparents were and pretty much what immigrant ship your ancestors came out on in the 1800's!

So, I've been thinking about all these things lately. I guess everyone has these times where they reflect, and muse, and ponder the things of life and how they impact personally. I love these
'Eleven Hints for Life'. I don't know who wrote them - but each one is powerful in its truth, and I have a story for each point. Do you?

"Eleven Hints for Life"

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.


bettyl said...

I'm not sure if I'm an introvert, but I certainly am a loner. I try to 'do the right thing' and join a group or committee and it doesn't take long to remember why I don't do that! The 'instant' friends are the best, I think. The rest just come and go.

Jennifer said...

I really enjoyed reading this post, Rachel - I can identify with so much of it!
Jennifer x

Cottage Tails said...

The mum and son dance sounds very special. No doubt there will be other mums who will also be feeling out of their comfort zone and I'm sure will appreciate one of your smiles.
Hope you share some photos!

Love Leanne

Julia said...

Great quotes, Rachel. I get mixed up with the whole introvert/extrovert thing. Isn't interesting how we click with some people and others are just like cars passing us on the freeway...
and going in the opposite direction.

Roz said...
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