tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-22284414802785706032024-03-14T12:59:18.433+13:00South Sea Island Homesouthseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.comBlogger423125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-38612742837580858002019-10-30T12:46:00.000+13:002019-10-30T17:20:58.787+13:00Michelle Obama's Book Becoming - a review: Part 1<br />
I'm very late to the party in picking up Michelle Obama's autobiography, <i><a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/Becoming-Audiobook/B07B3L1W3Q?qid=1572391704&sr=1-4&pf_rd_p=e81b7c27-6880-467a-b5a7-13cef5d729fe&pf_rd_r=7YBT3BY0CFY3F4K2BBH4&ref=a_search_c3_lProduct_1_4" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Becoming</a></i>.<br />
I've been busy with University studies, but the light is at the end of that particular tunnel on Friday when I complete the semester with the final exam, so I have been - maybe a little too early when I should be studying - indulging in some leisurely reading.<br />
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I don't know about you, but I love biographies. I like them more than novels. Real people's lives are so fascinating.<br />
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I've always liked Michelle as a person and thought she would be a pretty interesting person to sit down and have a cup of tea with, and her book has only piqued my interest. She seems so wise and very down to earth, intelligent and relatable.<br />
But there is so much in her book that I want to talk about, so I've decided to review the book in two parts.<br />
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I've been so enjoying hearing about her childhood growing up on the south side of Chicago. Chicago will always hold a special place in my heart for the year I spent living there.<br />
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I like the way she thinks. I like her tenacity. I like her grass-roots upbringing and I like that in her book she is not afraid to talk about the things that matter. She's a straight-talker but careful in her wording and gracious. I was excited to learn that she was a Sociology Major at College! No wonder I liked her!<br />
In her book she is not afraid to talk about the things that had social consequence on her and her family. Things like racism.<br />
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This has always been a topic close to my heart because I've never understood racism. I still remember the shock I felt upon learning of slavery in my school Social Studies Class when I was 13 years old. That feeling has sat deep with me all these years. Taking Sociology this year has helped me understand the why's of racism and how it has impacted our world so dramatically.<br />
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One of the most interesting aspects about Michelle's book is seeing her world through her eyes and through the eyes of the child she remembered as herself who is African American. She doesn't really directly talk about racism or growing up with racism, she just talks about her family and friends and what she did as child, but for someone like me, not having grown up in America and not having grown up as African American, several things stood out to me in her writing:<br />
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Segregation was part of her life. She talks about white communities and black communities and the white part of town and the black part of town.<br />
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At college her roommate was moved out of her room because the mother objected to her daughter sharing with an African American girl.<br />
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Through the story of her childhood, the lens she wrote through was always with an acute awareness of her difference to the 'ruling race' in America at the time and yet she seems to have written it without fully being conscious of it. That's what I found fascinating.<br />
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It brought to mind this quote from my sociology class this semester:<br />
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W.E.B Dubois - <i>"Those who are oppressed by race develop a dual consciousness, ever aware of their status in the eyes of others but also have a collective identity as African American, for example".</i><br />
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She spells that out in her books - whether it was deliberate or not, that lens is there.<br />
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I like this journey with her through her youth as she grows, matures, develops. I'm not even up to the part where she meets Barack yet - the part I imagine everyone wanted to read from that point on.<br />
I like the cut of her gib, as the old saying goes. I'm enjoying her company.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif;"><i><b style="font-size: x-large;">“Do we settle for the world as it is, or do we work for the world as it should be?” </b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Michelle Obama, Becoming</span></i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #181818; font-family: "merriweather" , "georgia" , serif; font-size: 14px;">She's a true sociologist. America is lucky to have had her as their First Lady, and lucky to still have her influence.</span><br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-82612175626939162472019-10-27T15:05:00.000+13:002019-10-27T15:09:00.823+13:00Labour Weekend - Getting the House Summer ReadyOur first summer in our new home and I am enjoying our private garden and outdoor area so much.<br />
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We haven't had a ready-made garden since we lived in the old house in Alexandra and it is wonderful to add our own stamp on things. The former owners who were retiring and going to a much smaller place left us some lovely potted outdoor plants in some big, beautiful pots, along with some outdoor seating and a shade cloth. We put the cloth up last night and already we are benefitting from it as the sun is HOT today.<br />
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Traditionally in New Zealand, Labour weekend is for putting in your summer plants, and this tradition still holds firm judging by the number of people at the garden centre this morning.<br />
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We have a lovely lot of edibles in the garden - a plum tree absolutely laden with a type of plum that we're not sure about - until it ripens. With the number of fruit on this, I'll definitely be keeping an eye on those cheeky birds and netting it when I need to. I have a Mandarin ready to go in, a Tamarillo thriving, celery ready to harvest and at the bidding of my second son today I got two raspberry vines to put in.</div>
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We are getting ready for Theo to go to NASA in December and doing some fundraising to help. I've been testing out an old fashioned lemonade recipe given to me by my hockey mum friend, Sue. It's seriously the best lemonade but I think the recipe is a bit of a secret. I've been putting the syrup into bottles and will sell them soon, but of course we had to test it first!</div>
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I hope that you will be able to come and enjoy a drink with me sometime over the summer. </div>
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Warmth and shade from the hot sun and good company in the outdoors with lemonade (and maybe a cocktail or two) sounds very enjoyable indeed!</div>
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And of course Ginger will be here to give you a very joyous welcome.<br />
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-36210091763853150382019-10-19T20:31:00.001+13:002019-10-19T21:20:51.794+13:00I Am (Hopefully) Back to Blogging AgainThe great thing about reaching middle age is that you do really find out who you are. It's true what they tell you about that.<br />
You've spent quite a bit of time with yourself by now, and things start becoming clearer. What you like, who you are, how you think, feel, love, respond, what your core values and beliefs are and most importantly, how you want to spend the rest of your life. And maybe even more importantly, how you don't want to spend the rest of your life.<br />
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That's what has happened to me.<br />
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I've spent the last few years sorting out the past. Dealing with things that needed to be dealt with, and a lot of reflection and self-evaluation. I've learned boundaries. I've learned not to be so gullible. I've become a little cynical. I have learned to trust my judgement and my instincts. I've learned what sort of friend I am and how to find friends that I like and how to cultivate those friendships.<br />
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I've also learned that I <b><u>need</u></b> to write.<br />
Which is why I'm picking up blogging again.<br />
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I have little side projects on the go, and I just finished writing my first academic essay - which I agonised over. Faint echoes of my old teachers telling me to stick to creative writing or fiction and not structural essays lingering in my memory. That I was weak in essay writing- my greatest writing weakness - those words linger in my past. I have a huge learning curve ahead, but I got my first one written and achieved a B grade, which I'm trying to tell myself is not so bad for my first essay - considering the last time I wrote one was when I was 17 years old and I have a major phobia around them.<br />
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I still harbour ambitions of a New Zealand novel - and that may or may not be my summer project while I take a hiatus from Sociology studies. But like it or not. I have to write - and I think that's been my biggest lesson this year. I can't just let it go. I need it.<br />
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So, here I am. Back on beloved blogger. It's like an old familiar friend.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-48077480085800721182016-01-28T21:30:00.001+13:002016-01-28T23:28:26.550+13:00Downton Abbey Final - contains spoilers.This post contains SPOILERS, so if you have not see the final yet, I suggest you come back later.<br />
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Because we got to see Downton before America!<br />
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Downton Abbey and me have had a rough relationship.<br />
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Like half the planet I fell in love with it from the beginning and then I got mad at writer and creator Julian Fellowes for killing off Matthew Crawley just as he was at his happiest, and refused to watch it again until I had forgiven him,<br />
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Julian Fellowes....<br />
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...and then I got bored of seeing Anna and Mr Bates trot off to prison every other episode, so you might say this has been a very up and down relationship.<br />
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It was like Julian Fellowes was a happiness killer for 6 whole, entire seasons.<br />
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<br />
Ok, so maybe I haven't quite forgiven him completely yet.<br />
But he does do his best to make us like him again in the final.<br />
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So the other week when the Christmas Special Final showed in New Zealand I happened to be out at our beach house. I thought I'd just have to wait until it came out on DVD to watch it because we don't have a television at the beach house and reception has never been very good out there anyway. But not this year! The cousins had managed to hook up a tv and we were all booked in for a Downton Abbey beach-fest screening - served with a delicious Rhubarb crumble.<br />
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Have you seen the final? What did you think of it?<br />
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I am going to miss watching Maggie Smith so much. She made the series. She really did.<br />
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There are a few words I could use to sum up the final episode of Downton Abbey.<br />
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Weddings. Predictable. Happy Ending.<br />
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Julian Fellowes decided not to kill happiness.<br />
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And that pretty much sums up the last episode.<br />
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I could have given it a scathing review because if there is another tv show that trumps this final for trying to cram as many romances and weddings into it as Downton did in the last final, I have never heard of it. We lost count of how many times the violins played and just about everyone ends up with a romance, marriage, or the potential of a romance or marriage. But in the end, you just can't hate Downton - even in all it's predictableness and one-liners. It's been a brilliant show to watch and I'm going to miss it.<br />
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It seems like the whole series has been one big fight to find love and happiness.<br />
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And Julian Fellowes gives us that in bucketloads in the last special. He lathers it on in syrup, lavender and everything coming up roses. And while it is everything you could wish for - a happy ending - everyone goes off to live lovely and fulfilling lives - where everything comes right in the end, and truth be known, I always like a happy ending, but it did feel rather predicatable and rather squashed in.<br />
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So to sum up:<br />
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Lord Grantham is miserable and then he is happy.<br />
Lady Mary is nasty and then she is nice.<br />
Lady Edith is miserable and can't make up her mind and then she is suddenly happy and can make up her mind.<br />
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The Dowager Lady Grantham is just the same as always - and has the best lines.<br />
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(This. Truly. My life at the moment)!</div>
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Mrs Crawley is miserable and then she is happy.<br />
Branson is miserable and then he is happy.<br />
Carson is miserable and then he is happy.<br />
Mrs. Hughes is miserable and then she is happy.<br />
Daisy is miserable and then she is happy.<br />
Thomas is miserable and then he is happy.<br />
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Molsely is miserable and then he is happy.<br />
Mrs Patmore is not looking for love and then finds she quite likes it - in the last few minutes of the show.<br />
Anna and Mr Bates have been miserable for the whole darn show, but finally in the last show they are happy and nothing bad happens.<br />
To them.<br />
To anyone.<br />
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Except maybe Carson.<br />
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So we bid farewell to Downton. It's the ending of a happy romance - a blissful escape from reality.<br />
Thank you Julian Fellowes for the pleasure. I know you had to end it sometime, but I think we all hoped it would carry on forever.<br />
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We've really loved it, you know.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-72293129605500484852016-01-23T13:07:00.000+13:002016-01-23T13:07:07.312+13:00Love Many. Trust Few.<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 11px; line-height: normal;">
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One of the things that comes when you are growing into yourself, is an awareness of your vulnerabilities and your strengths. It’s strange that the two can be closely intertwined but they are.</div>
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My Vulnerability:</div>
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I have been exposed to narcissism all my life. Narcissism is an extreme selfishness - but can often be manifested in many different ways. Sometimes the narcissist is obvious - the charismatic leader who draws people to themselves, but where everything is engineered to feed their great need for the world to revolve around them. Sometimes the narcissist is not so obvious - you might think of them as a giving person - unselfish - but their unselfishness feeds their need to be needed, and they often control those who revolve in their world. </div>
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Narcissism is a personality disorder. Most likely the person you know with this is not even aware they have it. Narcissism also means that the person who has it has most likely had some terrible hurt in their lives and this is their way of coping.</div>
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My narcissism radar is on high alert these days. It’s easy to see a narcissist behind every lamp post so I have to be careful who I label with this in my mind, as it sets a prejudice, and I do not want that, but in my journey to healing from having my life impacted by narcissism, I have been pondering over something that a wise person said to me recently. And that is that once you have had a narcissist in your life, you can spot it a mile away. This wise lady told me that she never allows herself to get involved with a narcissist. Ever. Not even in the smallest way. You run. You protect yourself. You set the boundary.</div>
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My Strength:</div>
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My strength - and that is my intuition. That ‘still, small voice’ that sends out little alarms. I am still learning to use it - I am trying to embrace it. It’s always been there, but I’ve never had the confidence in it before. Now, I do.</div>
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We who have the Myers-Briggs personality type of INFJ (Introvert/Intuitive/Feeling/Justice), have this thing called the ‘INFJ Door Slam’. To me this is setting boundaries which I no longer allow people to cross over to manipulate me. It goes completely against how I have behaved up until this age. I have always been open, friendly, welcoming and accepting of people - a little naive perhaps, but through the last few years as I have learned about my vulnerabilities and strengths, I realise that this is not altogether healthy. People can and will take advantage of that. Manipulators can and will take advantage of that, which is why it’s important to recognise your vulnerabilities and then to use your strengths to counteract that.</div>
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Narcissism radar and INFJ door slam - I welcome you. It’s a new day for me. I’m no longer a door mat. I am learning to be confident in myself and to choose who I welcome into my life.</div>
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-7810946223198431452015-12-31T16:36:00.000+13:002015-12-31T18:05:17.986+13:00What Lies Ahead The <a href="http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Myers Briggs Personality test</a> changed my life in 2015. I found out I have the rarest type, INFJ. Only 1% of the world's population has it, but more than that, it helped me understand myself and understand my tortuous mind and feelings and the explanations behind a whole lot of how and why I function the way I do, both in the real world and in my own mind (a world in itself). Oh to have known this at 13 years old! <br />
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And I went to see Oprah Winfrey this year - and she has the same personality type and she explained how to use your in-built intuition and drive to accomplish what you want out of life. And before you start thinking that it all sounds a bit like I've got my head in the clouds, believe me, I do! But I also have two good feet firmly on the ground, and that is partly the struggle that all INFJ's wrestle with through life.<br />
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So, in my annual New Year post where I collect favourite quotes from the past year and put them over some of my best photographs, this year I've chosen to do it a slightly different way, and I'm only using quotes from other INFJ personalities - those who are well-known in the world and have made a difference.<br />
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Oprah Winfrey<br />
Eleanor Roosevelt<br />
JK Rowling<br />
Leonard Cohen<br />
Agatha Christie<br />
Noam Chomsky<br />
Martin Luther King, Jr<br />
Emily Bronte<br />
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These quotes are important to me, and I plan on using them through 2016 to inspire me and to help me through the days when I need strength, and I know there are a few of those coming up this year. It will be an epic year for me - I will have to face some of my fears head on, but I know that in the end, there will be triumph.<br />
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This is the quote of the year for me. I love it. I heard Oprah say it in person and it sent chills up my spine. What tragedy and hope there is all mixed up in these few, simple words.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9udHd8PPcdK3NsFPaSBiEvSBxk4kNFnXSyjM17sn1ScNZzKEOMrW36lnx0NKkKc9ihlRci2MSkBHXNGGug21JmqJ1wDdsKo-P2kUp4yNYMQhSRGrcCE2WweKwo5gfo9IUifR9kW9J588/s1600/OprahQuote2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9udHd8PPcdK3NsFPaSBiEvSBxk4kNFnXSyjM17sn1ScNZzKEOMrW36lnx0NKkKc9ihlRci2MSkBHXNGGug21JmqJ1wDdsKo-P2kUp4yNYMQhSRGrcCE2WweKwo5gfo9IUifR9kW9J588/s640/OprahQuote2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Kia Kaha - Be Strong. Stand Strong. This is a particularly special and beautiful saying for me for the year of 2016. It will be close to my heart for a long time.<br />
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I feel this often. It is in my nature to feel this. But I have learned a lot these past few years. I feel more confident now. My self-talk is better.<br />
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The truth has always been very important to me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjryXr_KVkKEI3olT97Hy_uGXI5TZLlBw88acQKaD0O-Ij-4pmCJjwGYhXNoE5VwMA1dI4jNEXpIzEc8JXpzzR6W-8wq0LfD5jhW7OyqrPHPQjTRuEfi5yuCbU_EOirb3UA6asv07Yv9QE/s1600/JKRowlingQuote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjryXr_KVkKEI3olT97Hy_uGXI5TZLlBw88acQKaD0O-Ij-4pmCJjwGYhXNoE5VwMA1dI4jNEXpIzEc8JXpzzR6W-8wq0LfD5jhW7OyqrPHPQjTRuEfi5yuCbU_EOirb3UA6asv07Yv9QE/s640/JKRowlingQuote.jpg" width="426" /></a></div>
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With my memory, the past is always with me. It's learning to use that to move forward. To be aware of what has gone before me. What has led me to this point in my life and how I can learn from that to build my future.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwmyR27XD0V0HWAYE-L2MMZDIov8XdXFsXlEWz5YVsOabnIqxbFC-MSrOo9G0LrDCnav3erXLBq_j_mdu8pexjhkN3aUuBupf4hd9Wxr1T1VuEgg1jvCivUiEOO265S9yT7zKiJdS-a24/s1600/LeonardCohenQuote2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="428" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwmyR27XD0V0HWAYE-L2MMZDIov8XdXFsXlEWz5YVsOabnIqxbFC-MSrOo9G0LrDCnav3erXLBq_j_mdu8pexjhkN3aUuBupf4hd9Wxr1T1VuEgg1jvCivUiEOO265S9yT7zKiJdS-a24/s640/LeonardCohenQuote2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Maybe this is a maturity thing. I'm past 40 now. Everyone says that once you reach 40 the things that matter are so different to what they were when you were 20, and that is true. And I am finding the value in limiting my friendships, as hard as that has been to do, in surrounding myself with people who love me for me, not for who I once was, or for some past historic connection, but they like me and I like them, and being with them gives me energy. This has narrowed the field somewhat - but my handful of close friends are few and precious. I like having lots of friends, but in the past that has been a trap to give me self-worth and the trap was superficial and, in the end, disappointing. I like loyalty - even when I am not the best friend in the world - I am so bad at friendship, partly because my memory works in such a way that if I saw you a year ago, it feels like yesterday to me. And partly because life, in this season, is so incredibly busy for me at the moment. I don't have time to waste on superficiality, or people who don't understand me.<br />
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I love this quote from one of my favourite authors, and fellow INFJ. Every day is a gift, a treasure.<br />
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Not many people like change. We get comfortable, never realising that when the hard things hit us, they are often the catalyst to shift us from our complacency and to move forward in life. Life is never still. It is always moving, changing, bringing fresh challenges. I have had some cataclysmic changes the past few years. They have changed me. I'm not the same person I was before.<br />
But what a gift it has been.<br />
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Don't you wish the whole world could hear this message? But hearing is one thing. Doing is another.<br />
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Sometimes I feel like life is just starting for me. With age comes awareness of who you are and what you want out of life. I still have dreams. I still have beautiful dreams.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHk47_aZo2RlA4ZRrJcmxhTUMqytWu0kpF6xccMaZI8fCeWJtHUh_m5CJMeu4UrEQLDLPouEMBlgXGpKmSK_mUsAqkOhjIRBdCgnhZRq0ASSBqPRlchaSj0ogAe-EYSaMloXMBkeY44IM/s1600/EleanorRooseveltQuote2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHk47_aZo2RlA4ZRrJcmxhTUMqytWu0kpF6xccMaZI8fCeWJtHUh_m5CJMeu4UrEQLDLPouEMBlgXGpKmSK_mUsAqkOhjIRBdCgnhZRq0ASSBqPRlchaSj0ogAe-EYSaMloXMBkeY44IM/s640/EleanorRooseveltQuote2.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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Emily Bronte. Another favourite author. Another fellow INFJ. Maybe it is only INFJ's who will 'get' this quote. The intrinsic, fundamental knowledge that we are old souls. That we carry the weight of the world on our shoulders and all the love of the world in our hearts.<br />
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How do we use our gifts and our passions to better the world? To dream and to live it out? It is an eternal question, never answered.<br />
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This is one of my favourite quotes, and I can't even articulate why!<br />
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As we bid farewell to 2015 and turn the page of a new year, what lies ahead for you? What dreams do you have for the year ahead? Whatever they are, I wish you well in the pursuit of them.southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-5254104265477769882015-12-18T13:10:00.000+13:002015-12-18T14:01:42.714+13:00A Plebeian's Experience at the New Zealand Oprah ShowI remember when Oprah Winfrey started screening on television in New Zealand. We used to discuss her shows in the school playground during our lunch breaks. Fresh 15 year olds solving the problems of dysfunctional adults. It was really among the first of those kind of shows to come to New Zealand and we were all fascinated by Oprah.<br />
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Over the years, on and off, as I left school, went overseas, worked, lived my life, Oprah came in and out of my life as time allowed.<br />
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And then I went to Chicago.<br />
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Sometimes when we'd drive downtown, I'd look up at those tall buildings and wonder which one belonged to Oprah. I'd keep an eye out for her studio. I never saw it, and I never saw her. I didn't even watch her show during that time. There were no televisions where I was living. I never even went to one of her shows even though for one short year we lived in the same city.<br />
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But time passes and Oprah came back into my life again when I was married and had small children and was having trouble with breast-feeding. So I'd sit down in my living room with my small baby, turn on the television and watch lunchtime Oprah, while feeding my baby.<br />
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And oh the things I learned. The little seeds I gathered. Oprah was very influential in my early mid-life years. Sometimes lonely years as I'd left many friends behind in America, my husband and I moved clear to the other side of the country and lived on a rural lifestyle block. I was just emerging out of the cult that we had become involved with and it was a crucial time for me of re-adjusting my views of the world. Re-adjusting my life and little whispers of new ideas and questions that Oprah raised on her show began to wander restlessly in my mind. She reached out from the television screen and met my heart.<br />
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We share the same Myers Briggs personality type... except she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert. INFJ for me. ENFJ for Oprah. But Oprah just has this way of being real, whatever your personality type is. She instinctively meets you where you are and knows, with an authenticity that is at times, uncanny.<br />
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So when the opportunity came to go and see her in Auckland, I was waiting in line when booking opened.<br />
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Going to see Oprah has to be one of the highlights of this year for me.<br />
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Whatever you think of Oprah (and there have been some cynical reviews written about her show, and sure, the music was a bit cheezy at times, but I wasn't there for the music), you have to admire her for what she has done with her life. For where she has come from and what she has achieved, and her generous big heartedness to others. Her good intentions of wanting to help others. She is a woman among women and no matter whether you find her inspiring or not, or you roll your eyes at her words of hope and encouragment, she demands respect for that reason alone.<br />
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A friend and I got two of the cheapest tickets we could - the rich and entitled paid thousands for the best seats in the house - but most of us mere plebeians had to settle for seats way up the back of the arena. And it was still good. We were way up the back, but we were looking full on to the stage. And they had music playing with a DJ before Oprah came out. The camera would zoom in on random people in the audience who would cheer, dance or pull faces. I love Kiwis.<br />
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Oprah said she felt a contentment in New Zealand that she hasn't felt anywhere else in any other country. Maybe she was flattering us, but maybe there is some truth to that too. I think New Zealanders are generally down-to-earth and real about life and we don't really go in for a lot of fluff.<br />
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What she had to say that night came at a crucial time in my life. I know I was meant to be there.<br />
Sometimes things like this happen in your life and you know they happened for a reason. That night was one of those moments.<br />
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Oprah shared one of her favourite poems with us. She said the name of this author twice, and I locked it away in my memory because I wanted to be sure to find it when I got home. Thank you Oprah, for saying his name twice.<br />
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When I read this poem, I think over my life - I remember my happy childhood and my turbulent romances of my teen years. I remember the years of my early adulthood that were stolen from me by a manipulative and powerful man from Chicago.<br />
And I think it's kind of ironic that two people from Chicago could have two such opposing influence over me. One for evil. One for good.<br />
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And then I recall Oprah's words to us on Wednesday night.<br />
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<i>"Everything that has happened to you, was also happening for you".</i><br />
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Oprah talked a lot that night about <i>co-authoring</i> our lives with God. If I take anything away from her show, it is those words. It is the wisdom in those words. When you have come from my experience of having someone tell you that God is a dictator and that he has a plan for your life whether you like that plan or not, these words have the power to bring great healing and clarification.<br />
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She talked about the importance of meeting with God everyday. Talking over as you would with a close friend, your plans and decisions. Sometimes during the evening, it almost felt a little like we were at a revival meeting. She unashamedly talked about her relationship with God.<br />
We are spiritual beings having a human experience. To deny that, is to deny our purpose for being here.<br />
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Oprah kept stressing, over and over, that God has a plan for every single person. That we are not a mistake. That we are not insignificant. That it doesn't matter where we come from or what we have done. That God has given us a unique passion, a job to do, a life-fulfilment, a legacy to enjoy and to leave behind.<br />
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I know what it is I want to do with my life. I think I've always known, but this past year I have allowed other things to crowd out those little whispers. Oprah told us a story of her personal assistant who wanted a filing cabinet for her 8th birthday. I thought 'what did I want for my 8th birthday?" I know exactly what it was I wanted for my 8th birthday. I wanted blank notebooks to write my stories inside. And the desire is still the same all these years later. It's not the notebook or the pens, it's the desire to write and to do something good with the writing.<br />
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I came away from Oprah with a determination to use this summer break to really sit back and think about how to make each day count in the pursuit of my dreams, the pursuit of my intentions. To again, re-adjust the path of my life. I was inspired by her words, her passion, her experience and her wisdom. She has been a great influence in my life at various times over the years and Wednesday night was no exception.<br />
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To co-author with God - the things he has in store for my life.<br />
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That's what I love about that poem by Derek Walcott. That one day I will come back to meet my old self, and we will smile at each other.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/66728752@N00/15444640729">P1110007</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a></span></div>
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photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/44613506@N07/4800249673">Chicago (ILL) Willis Tower ( Ex. SEARS Tower ) 1974, N-E side " the loop " + notes</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-56338569160499007902015-12-01T21:05:00.000+13:002015-12-01T21:05:33.183+13:00The Anchor of A HometownSometimes, the world seems just a little bit too mad. A lot sad. And, let's be honest here, downright scary at times.<br />
When life gets too much, or the world gets too frightening, where do you go?<br />
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I don't mean physically where do you go? But mentally? Where is your safe place? The place where you retreat to when the world is crumbling?<br />
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Where do you go to fortify your mind, to keep your sanity and to face your fears and your questions and your brink of insaneness?<br />
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I wonder if some of us go back to the age of innocence. Back to a time in our life when all was right with the world?<br />
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I go back to my hometown. To Marlborough. Back to when we were young. And carefree.<br />
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I was thinking about this recently, because around the same time that Paris had it's horrific events, the phenomenon of a little Facebook group called <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/1681306582091995/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank"><b><i>Old Marlborough - the way we were</i></b>,</a> grew up out of nowhere and the Marlbarians, young and old, flooded in. We grew up in a special place! It was nice to go back, even if it was just a virtual nostalgic group, to a time and place and be with people who are familiar and kind and safe and who have the same history of growing up in a place that was wonderful.<br />
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Suddenly we were reconnecting with old friends, old neighbourhoods, old school mates, and saying 'remember this' and 'remember that person'? People were posting old photos. Photos of streets and schools and shops and people.<br />
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It has been a lovely, lovely respite from the reality of today's world to step back in time, to go back once again to that unique and close community that I grew up in.<br />
We were lucky we were.<br />
We didn't know how lucky we were.<br />
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The beautiful Dashwoods. Those foothills beside the Withers. As you drive up the coast from Christchurch, it's always the time I know I'm nearly there. It's that feeling of coming home. This is my place. This is the soil of my birth and the soil where my grandparents and family and ancestors rest.<br />
The wind rushes through the dry, tawny grass. It looks alive some days as the ripples of wind dance through the grasses, moving up the slopes of the hills, drawing you eye over the top to the blue moving expanse of Cook's Strait, with the Wairou Bar where we used to play as children lying unchanged as it always has under the cliffs of Cloudy Bay.<br />
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My nephew <a href="http://benleesphotography.co.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Ben Lees, of Ben Lees Photography </a>(and Cantabrian) kindly allowed me to use this photo taken from those beloved Marlborough hills, for this blog post. It's my absolute favourite photo ever!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotoIOQ_WOYAMRFB0Wv08UNbWH7VLmR2KX3XNJcPhQZP5jpCfNJN5vs7kVy18gZTIL4D7WbpzQk3ggK695IRJ2YtrpCMjwMzwnbPQ4yqoGF3_FvufqWT-qirdooZWtYTVecQHLmjWdx0I/s1600/10993421_867974389927799_3546860474826409023_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="338" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgotoIOQ_WOYAMRFB0Wv08UNbWH7VLmR2KX3XNJcPhQZP5jpCfNJN5vs7kVy18gZTIL4D7WbpzQk3ggK695IRJ2YtrpCMjwMzwnbPQ4yqoGF3_FvufqWT-qirdooZWtYTVecQHLmjWdx0I/s640/10993421_867974389927799_3546860474826409023_n.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Check out his beautiful <a href="http://benleesphotography.co.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">website here.</a></td></tr>
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When I think back to my childhood growing up in the jewel that is Marlborough, New Zealand, I think of the hills that surrounded us, nestled quietly at the edges of the town, hazy in the summertime, frosty in the winter. I think of the orchards and the berry farms, now replaced with the more lucrative vineyards, on the outlying plains where my parents would go every summer to gather the bounty of our province unto ourselves, to store up for the winter. I can smell the warmth of honey hanging in the air at our local honey shop. The beekeeper whose wife used to teach me in Girls Brigade.<br />
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Hot summer afternoons while we swam in our backyard pool, the familiar smells of vinegar and pickles and bubbling jam and boysenberries floating out from the kitchen window as Mum bottled them. She'd come out to get the washing in, fingers stained red and black with the juice.<br />
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I think of my school and friends and church and the nun who used to teach me piano lessons. Of wondering what kind of hair she had under that black wimple. Of Grandad and Nana and the dogs and the boat and Nana's lolly jar and her love of books. Of reading us snippets from them and teaching us life lessons from poetry. Of Grandma and her rosy cheeks and warm kitchen and apron and her kindness.<br />
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I think of the school camps down the sounds and at Deep Creek, and the fun we used to have. Our overnight survival tramps with our teacher, the games of truth and dare around the old house, and when we were supposed to be asleep listening to the mothers who were with us, all laughing and talking out in the kitchen with the comfortableness and ease you can only have with those you've known all your life.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me (left) and my sister at our childhood home.</td></tr>
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Christmas shopping with Mum in the town. The best place to get gifts for the aunties and grandparents was at McRobies, a long shop in the middle of the town, with tables and shelves bursting with products. There was always something to buy in that place. A soap with a picture on it. A small china tea set. Embroidered handkerchiefs. Bubble bath in animal-shaped bottles. That handy do-dad for the kitchen that Grandma surely has been waiting for.<br />
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Or the day the Farmers store burned down. Or driving in the country at night and seeing the old oat stubbles on fire. They made such a pretty ring of light.<br />
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Of summer holidays camping by the rivers, or with all the extended family at the bach down the Sounds, or sunbathing on the golden beaches at Kaiteriteri.<br />
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I remember the Sunday afternoons walking downtown with my school friend after church to buy the nicest cream buns and warm, crusty bread at Granny Scot's bakery, then eating most of it before we got home.<br />
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And how at the age of 13 it all changed. some of my friends moved away. My family moved away.<br />
And how, in spite of telephones and letters, life was never quite the same again. It was good, we went on to good and exciting things, but nothing can replace your childhood town.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjygE8wk1E-hUY-9b67fi8Za6yP4EcOlQ51PeOOnWDElhIjLhhqwA9twVk1_JQHyTxErUTLq36TnwTrrTgBYdYngg76S6MIMP0p5WGIoCq8ND6jOjOX0-SIDKgptLTwRWGGcPHih4YjM3Q/s1600/oldphoto3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="274" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjygE8wk1E-hUY-9b67fi8Za6yP4EcOlQ51PeOOnWDElhIjLhhqwA9twVk1_JQHyTxErUTLq36TnwTrrTgBYdYngg76S6MIMP0p5WGIoCq8ND6jOjOX0-SIDKgptLTwRWGGcPHih4YjM3Q/s640/oldphoto3.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A note written during our last church service together with my friends.</td></tr>
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So many wonderful people. Friends who we walk through life with. They'll always be there. The friends of your parents who have known you since the day you were born. You can't have airs and graces around people like that. No matter how successful and sophisticated you become later in life, when you're with people who knew you as a baby, the layers of adulthood fall away.<br />
There's an authenticity about that. There's something rather wonderful about it too. A safety. A feeling of security. If they're still there, it's going to be ok. It's all going to be fine.<br />
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It has been wonderful to visit it all again, even when I live 12 hours away from my hometown and am removed from those days by 30 years. They're my people. That's my place.<br />
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We were so lucky and we didn't even know it.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-44419050782083510272015-07-22T11:40:00.002+12:002015-07-22T16:36:20.002+12:00Are We Raising A Generation of Narcissists?If you only had one choice, would you rather your children were kind or smart?<br />
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Take a moment and really consider that question.<br />
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In today's world, being smart gets you everywhere.<br />
But where does being kind get you?<br />
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My daughter came home from school yesterday and told me she didn't have anyone to play with.<br />
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When I asked her about two girls she was friendly with at kindergarten 2 years ago, who are in her class, if she had gone to play with them, she said they told her she could only play with them if she gave them food from her lunchbox!<br />
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Now, I know I am the most awesome lunch-making-mother - thank you very much (snort) - but this did seem a little extreme to take it as far as being friendly to my girl!<br />
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Children can be cruel!<br />
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Because I am the Myers-Briggs personality type of INFJ - I am constantly trying to define my world. I lie awake at night thinking deep thoughts about the problems of the world and how to resolve them.<br />
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But unkindness is something I find very hard to tolerate and to fathom. On any level.<br />
And it's a hard one to excuse, whether you're a child, a teenager, or an adult.<br />
Kindness is always an option.<br />
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I had a mother who was acutely aware of this issue and she always reminded to be friendly to those who didn't have friends, be kind to the under-dog; and this is something I am trying to pass on to my children. But lately I have been realising that this is not something that many people value anymore. In our world of elitist schools and one-upmanship and where self is god, the majority of parents are opting to choose whatever it is that will get their child ahead - both academically and socially, regardless of who they have to trample on to get there.<br />
And here I am over here just hoping my kids enjoy their childhood.<br />
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Last year, my youngest daughter gave up her place in the school cross-country - even though she was the fastest runner in her class - to hold hands and run with a girl who was crying and didn't want to participate. They came in last, but I could not have been more proud of my girl.<br />
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How do you combat a generation of selfish parents raising selfish children? And yes, I place the blame squarely on the parents. Children reflect what they are being taught at home.<br />
How can one person make a difference in a society where the values of kindness and unselfishness and open-hearted friendship are unpopular?<br />
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I'm still working on the answers to that - I'll let you know if I ever discover them.<br />
Let me know if you do too.<br />
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I see it in the generation of some of my own extended family members who are young adults. But we forgive the young - they're enthusiastic, they're selfish, they're learning about themselves, they're finding themselves... but seriously, I'm starting to question those excuses... what happened to good, old-fashioned community spirit and family ties? What happened to the ideals of putting other people before yourself? What happened to the golden rule of loving your neighbour as much as you love yourself?<br />
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Let's talk about the popularity at the moment for random acts of kindness. When we read about it our heart swells with emotion. There's nothing wrong with that and helping our kids to be part of it, but it seems that the random acts of kindness movement has become more of a corporate idea, rather than translating that idea onto a personal level. Give to charities rather than give to the poor, friendless neighbour two doors down who struggles to pay their grocery bill every week.<br />
<br />
Instead of asking your kids to donate used toys to a charity, how about asking a classmate over to play who doesn't have a lot of friends.<br />
Instead of making cookies to share with the whole class, how about sharing a kind word with the girl who sits next to you.<br />
Instead of going for your daily walk with a friend in the morning after the kids have gone to school, how about asking a new mum who just joined your school to join in with you.<br />
<br />
Little thoughts of kindness that bridge gaps of need in the community.<br />
In our pursuit of personal success we've forgotten how to do that.<br />
<br />
Kindness has become more of a concept than an act. It needs to be personalised for children for them to really learn that, not broadly stroked in largesse.<br />
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If we don't teach them these things as children - they won't carry it through into their adulthood.<br />
<br />
I still believe that kindness is one of the most important qualities a person can have.<br />
That open-hearted friendship is the pathway to a full and happier life (let's ban cliques)!<br />
I still believe that unselfishness makes you a happier person overall.<br />
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But, it's a dying art.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-65498840202225697652015-07-21T11:24:00.000+12:002015-07-21T11:24:16.594+12:00My Food Bag - My ExperienceLately, I've been in a deep funk of dead-end ideas when it comes to food.<div>
I recently saw something going around social media with three choices. </div>
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If you only had to choose one, what would you choose?</div>
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A nanny</div>
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A housemaid</div>
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A chef</div>
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<br /></div>
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That's easy for me. A chef. Every time.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
And just lately, being in the depths of winter, cooking every night just became a chore. I was really struggling to come up with original and tasty menu ideas that everyone in my family would eat, and I am just bored of doing the same dishes, and tired of cooking uninspiring food that if you gave me a cent for every time I'd cooked them, I'd be rich by now.</div>
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Someone happened to mention Nadia Lim's <a href="http://www.myfoodbag.co.nz/how-it-works" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">My Food Bag</a>. I had heard of it, of course. Masterchef is one of my favourite reality television shows, and I was watching when she won it back in 2011, and heard about her new business venture.</div>
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Food and chef-prepared recipes delivered to your door every week sounded amazing!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Whenever someone talks about My Food Bag, they always qualify it with, "it's great food, but expensive." And that is what has put me off trying it out before now. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
<i>Let me just say now, before I carry on, that this is NOT a sponsored blog post. I am in no way affiliated with Nadia Lim or My Food Bag and have not been asked to write a review on this. I'm blogging about it because I write about everything anyway, and thought you might all be interested.</i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
But when I realised how much money I was actually spending going to the grocery store every other day to get something for dinner because I hadn't had any inspiration to write up a menu, I thought I might as well spend that money on My Food Bag instead of wasting time and funds running back and forth from the market.</div>
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There are six people in my family. Two adults and four children, and one of those children is a teenage boy, and two of those children are picky eaters and small eaters, so I thought the 2 adults and 2-3 children might be fine as far as quantity.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwJ18Gu0JY6_nBvjCz1VBLxJM2A6ZypNmYV8oHpIPBkxCb3UcWDprwhoRl2VxcG5HJZGt3-4OL9xYAcudSP69cI78tUib_34wmmQUcuwdHUoKTyjXwfKiq-ijRqdunGrUy2fjfrYvnV3c/s1600/Screen+Shot+2015-07-21+at+10.33.48+am.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="568" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwJ18Gu0JY6_nBvjCz1VBLxJM2A6ZypNmYV8oHpIPBkxCb3UcWDprwhoRl2VxcG5HJZGt3-4OL9xYAcudSP69cI78tUib_34wmmQUcuwdHUoKTyjXwfKiq-ijRqdunGrUy2fjfrYvnV3c/s640/Screen+Shot+2015-07-21+at+10.33.48+am.png" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.myfoodbag.co.nz/my-food-bags/family" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Screenshot from My Food Bag</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div>
On Sunday our first food bag arrived. It was so exciting!</div>
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The list for extra ingredients that you need in the pantry to do My Food Bag was so small and insignificant, that after doing the sums I don't actually think this is very expensive. Apart from a few basics, like oil and salt, eggs, butter, milk and flour and a couple of other things, Nadia provides everything, even down to the one garlic clove that I need for tonight's meal.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhkhTJOLoGtxM-0PWlV6pIrhsYUuRu9hBv72H3Ur4eWEQonwUN7YQRjSg0jWHwMEmiwPXdejI-35_Iyt-rDrzv0G0jvHrLZt-MdDGdGTBIbJ_Khj1bbxZjAZGsavfU72k6ydYdY13OoQA/s1600/IMG_0410.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhkhTJOLoGtxM-0PWlV6pIrhsYUuRu9hBv72H3Ur4eWEQonwUN7YQRjSg0jWHwMEmiwPXdejI-35_Iyt-rDrzv0G0jvHrLZt-MdDGdGTBIbJ_Khj1bbxZjAZGsavfU72k6ydYdY13OoQA/s640/IMG_0410.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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And the menu looked delicious!</div>
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A couple of days after ordering an email arrived in my inbox with a list of extra things I would need to buy and photographs of what I'd be cooking for the week, and it looked amazing!</div>
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My husband's eyes lit up when I showed him. I could tell he was so over my done-to-death chicken nibbles, sausages and fish and chips on rotation every week.</div>
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To tell the truth, I was a little sceptical when I opened up the chillbox and took out the meat. I though I better check all the dates in case one was close to the expiry and make sure that the recipes I want to cook line up with those dates. Later I was pleasantly surprised to read in the instructions that come with the box that Nadia actually suggests you do this - but I also found that the fresh meat was not only the best available in New Zealand, but the expiry dates were also well within the dates of the menu - if I cooked them in the order they arrived. That's a girl after my own heart, I have to say right there. Careful attention to the small details. I was impressed.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ugYK9bc1N0ZajGXgbkdr5ZWkglNjdQYit3dxvZagtifZ3Ev8OKqjsK71i4Qu43cFIB9QboL3SUie59TJhNJQZ0uzA6e3uWZzMZ-BHE2MlCxdkBPKC_byCkfKaUAMXPhfgoazhkpkQOA/s1600/IMG_0414.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7ugYK9bc1N0ZajGXgbkdr5ZWkglNjdQYit3dxvZagtifZ3Ev8OKqjsK71i4Qu43cFIB9QboL3SUie59TJhNJQZ0uzA6e3uWZzMZ-BHE2MlCxdkBPKC_byCkfKaUAMXPhfgoazhkpkQOA/s640/IMG_0414.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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For the first night, we made Cashew Lemon-Crumbed fish with roast veges and sundried tomato mayonnaise.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijwBtkWb8na-bPKQKamsyS8Dsshx0fns5Sa7hDbY3WjH77BBOxrK9WPLKTcbYXG3tSxAhyphenhyphenIssv5VTcsJXn0Gp0jHLW4RvRKGuH6073rMGil8zNPVC6izsdWjAg0uDIBIpoC3nOXOgxFsc/s1600/nadia1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijwBtkWb8na-bPKQKamsyS8Dsshx0fns5Sa7hDbY3WjH77BBOxrK9WPLKTcbYXG3tSxAhyphenhyphenIssv5VTcsJXn0Gp0jHLW4RvRKGuH6073rMGil8zNPVC6izsdWjAg0uDIBIpoC3nOXOgxFsc/s640/nadia1.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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The fish has a panko and cashew crumb over it and was so delicious some of us went back for seconds, and yes, there was enough for seconds. If this is (literally) a taste of what is to come, then I think I'm going to want to do My Food Bag for the rest of my life - or at least until I get my cooking mojo back - which might be never.</div>
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What I like about it is:</div>
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* the food and recipes are super-healthy. Fresh, organic vegetables and the finest meats - no unhealthy processed stuff here.</div>
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* It's easy to prepare. This took me 45 minutes max, and a lot of that time was stand-down time, waiting for the vegetables to roast.</div>
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* the hard work of menu planning is taken away</div>
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* The hard work of "what's for dinner" is taken away</div>
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* If the kids don't like it, they can't blame me!</div>
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* I'm not impulse buying anymore.</div>
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* The variety of dishes. Goodbye boring food!</div>
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* It tastes REALLY good.</div>
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Two things to watch out for if you are going to try this:</div>
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1. You have to order a week in advance.</div>
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2. You will automatically be charged for the second week unless you request that not to happen. I didn't read the fine print and discovered last night that I've been charged for this to arrive next week also. Oops. Don't care. I was going to do it anyway.</div>
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<span style="color: #990000;">* This is NOT a sponsored post. I am in no way affiliated with Nadia Lim or My Food Bag and have not been asked to review this product. I am blogging about it because I wanted to try it out and writing is how I process everything good and bad in my life. This just happens to be good!</span></div>
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-16162340629586700952015-06-28T21:00:00.000+12:002015-06-28T21:32:13.720+12:00God's Not Bringing Judgement Because Of The GaysI love my friends who are gay.<br />
I have a few and they are precious to me.<br />
I love them very much.<br />
Sometimes I feel quite protective towards them,<br />
because the world can be an unkind place<br />
and people can be cruel.<br />
<br />
Like today.<br />
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When so many christians are wailing that God is going to bring judgement on our fat and prosperous lands because America caught up with the rest of the world and sanctioned same-sex marriage by law.<br />
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Why do you, oh christian church, think that God will now judge your nation because of same-sex marriage, when some of your ministers have been hiding their secret sins behind closed doors while proclaiming His Holy Name?<br />
When they stand up in that church and they tell you to live 'moral and upright' lives, and yet they abuse and mislead God's children?<br />
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Is God not already shouting from the roof tops these hidden evils? Have those iniquitous doers of evil not been dropping like flies, one after the other, in such a public and shameful way, while all the world look on.<br />
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Don't you think this angers God more than gay marriage becoming legal?<br />
The hypocrisy? The self-righteousness?<br />
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And yet you cry out in your pride and spiritual superiority, that God is not happy because of the gays.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqlFPqnHAISLrV99u_Gd1qKrgBJs062cUSL_FzAPGSjyuJJjszC51as54lk5wHyLBJVYxA7f76U4G3LwmeSdyBChKO475BaNQmvY3S-Zw_eDXqkcLphNRdZYGKPBlDkmX0WNQmq4TiUNo/s1600/churchsteeple.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqlFPqnHAISLrV99u_Gd1qKrgBJs062cUSL_FzAPGSjyuJJjszC51as54lk5wHyLBJVYxA7f76U4G3LwmeSdyBChKO475BaNQmvY3S-Zw_eDXqkcLphNRdZYGKPBlDkmX0WNQmq4TiUNo/s400/churchsteeple.jpg" width="266" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.blogger.com/%3Ca%20href=%22https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/%22%3E(license)%3C/a%3E" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Photo Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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How far have we strayed from Jesus when we allowed prosperity and pride to be our gospel.<br />
How far have we wandered from His sacrificial love with our moral code and our indulgent communities of self-importance, our pride in our 'good' lives, as we waste them, tending the pretty facades that hide dark and murky hearts of evil.<br />
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It's easy to be a christian in our western world of comfort.<br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><i>God's not bringing judgement because of the gays. </i></span><br />
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<span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;"><i>God's bringing judgement because of the christians.</i></span><br />
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Judgement begins in the House of God. God said that you know. Christians who proclaim His name the loudest while doing evil acts behind closed doors. Christians who are proud of their 'holy' living, their tidy and respectable facades, their western rules and their judgements of others who don't act the same.<br />
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It's easy to be a christian when this is all you have.<br />
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Don't you think this angers God more than gay marriage?<br />
The hypocrisy? The self-righteousness. In His Name?<br />
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"Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."<br />
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There should be silence all over the world because of that verse.<br />
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What does God ask of His children?<br />
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<i><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">That we lay down our life for our friends. </span></i><br />
<i><span style="color: #990000; font-size: large;">That we love others as we love ourselves.</span></i><br />
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Pretty simple really.<br />
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And I ask my friends who are gay.<br />
Please don't judge me because of the hurtful things other christians are saying.<br />
And when the world is unkind to me, please love me.<br />
And when people hate me because of my faith, please protect me.<br />
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Because the world can be an unkind place,<br />
and people can be cruel.<br />
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photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29049201@N08/3376838378">Cross 1</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/">(license)</a>
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-28545991919346305442015-06-21T13:33:00.000+12:002015-12-19T09:20:13.912+13:00The Characteristics of a Sexual Groomer<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: #76a5af; font-size: large;"><i>"It was in an evil hour that you ever came here!"</i></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">from</span> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">David Copperfield by Charles Dickens.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">When I think back over my life, and what happened to me when I was 20, when I met Bill Gothard, I think of this quote from the character of Rosa Dartle in David Copperfield. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">With my <a href="http://southseaislandhome.blogspot.co.nz/2012/11/hyperthymesia.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">good, acute memory</a> that never allows me to forget, I can put myself back in that room, that hour, the one that changed the course of my life, and I now think of it as an evil hour. It brought harm to me, to my family, and to my friends.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">My predator issued a new-ish statement this morning on his website, and for a brief moment I thought about issuing my own retaliatory statement here on my blog in response to his very personal attack towards me and the other women who bravely shared the <a href="http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/01/sacred-grooming-part-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">secrets he was hoping we would keep</a>. He continues to deceive in his veiled sentences with their double meanings and the pious use of God's language, in his attempt to make everyone believe he is still a holy man.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">But it is futile to try and argue with a narcissist, in what could end up being an endless slinging match of she said/he said. So, instead of focussing on the personal element this is to me, I am choosing to use this opportunity to bring awareness to how a sexual predator works. Even in Bill's new statement and the 'testimonies' from the eight women that accompany it, I am very concerned to still clearly see the elements of grooming in his letter and in some of their letters. </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Let me lay it out here - there is a clear process of sexual grooming that a predator uses. Every woman I have spoken with who has experienced some form of sexual harassment or abuse agrees that these are predominant aspects of a groomer. At some point in this process, your groomer will start touching you - at first it will be very mild, very innocent, very grandfatherly. As it was for me; a pat on the hand, a side-hug, a special 'look' that exchanges between you. If you have been selected by the predator, this will progress to full bodily hugs, to holding hands, to rubbing his leg up and down your leg, to caressing your hand and your fingers, to putting his face close to yours. This can progress to further violation.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #e06666; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><b>This is the method that seldom fails when a predator selects their target.</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Maybe you can see them also.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><u><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: inherit;">Kindness</span></u></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Predators are good listeners. They will spend hours talking with you, paying attention to your words and your story. They will ask questions, they will empathize. And they are sincere. So very sincere. You will feel grateful to them, and humbled that they have shown such interest in you.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><u><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: inherit;">Special</span></u></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">A predator will make you feel special and favoured by them. They will use words like this:</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><i>"I have probably spent more one on one time with you than any other young woman you would know."</i></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">They will make you feel that you are the only person in the world that makes them happy. They will tell you that you give them energy. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">If you have a faith of any kind, they will use God's name to reinforce that. They will say things like, "God has brought you here," or "I have been waiting for God to bring someone like you to me/this ministry," or "what a blessing from God you are to me."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: inherit;"><u>Secrets</u></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">At this point in the relationship they will feel safe enough to start probing for your secrets. If you open up to them, trusting them because they have been </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">kind </span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">to you and you believe you are </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">special</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"> to them, you will share your secrets. My groomer would say things like, "can I ask you a personal question?" This would be followed by questions along the lines of, "have you ever done something you're ashamed about," or "are you a virgin?' With the initial, qualifying question making it feel like you have a choice whether to answer or not, lulls you into believing it is safe to share.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">They may even share a secret or two with you from their life. It is unlikely they will share anything too personal - remembering that a narcissist/sociopath has denied their authentic self and is living a double-life. Any secret they share will be innocuous. My groomer shared a 'secret' with me when he admitted that he sometimes felt nervous speaking in front of thousands of people. I felt privileged that he would share that with me and nobody else, but what is that secret compared with 'are you a virgin?'</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #141823;"><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><u>Gifts</u></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">To cement this growing relationship your predator will start giving you things. It depends on the circumstances you are in at the time, but for me, I was given a bedroom makeover, clothing, gifts of money, phone calls to my family overseas paid for by my groomer. The gifts are a way of reinforcing to you that they have been </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">kind</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"> to you, that you are </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">special</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"> to them, that you share a </span><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">secret</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"> bond.</span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><u><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: inherit;">Fear</span></u></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Fear can come in many forms when you are in a relationship with a groomer. But ultimately this step is designed to make you fear that one day the relationship will come to an end. Your groomer will start dropping subtle nuances about this. His fear will seem very real to you but it is designed to make you worry about losing them. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">This will make you work harder to please them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><u><br style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;" /></u></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><u><span style="color: #b45f06;">Isolation</span></u></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">The next step is to isolate you from family and friends. If this cannot be done physically, it will be mentally. Your groomer will start confiding in you about other people and their faults. They will use words like 'trust'. My groomer said things like, "other girls will want to be your friend just to get close to me." This made me look on my peers with mistrust, believing they had alterior motives to befriending me. It also devalues my worth in my own eyes. It says, I am not worthy of being a friend. They don't really like me, they like him."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #141823;"><br style="background-color: white; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><u>Soul ties</u></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">By now you and your predator think as one person. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Well, you believe you do. </span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #141823; font-family: inherit;">He is the center of your world.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #141823;"><br style="background-color: white;" /></span></span><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><u><span style="color: #b45f06;">Absolute Loyalty</span></u></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">Do not listen to others who tell you they have concerns about your relationship with this person. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">They don't know him! They don't know how sincere and kind and special he is. They don't know his generous heart and his vulnerability. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;">When you find yourself thinking this, you have fallen into his web of lies and deceit. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: inherit; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><b>Your groomer has won your heart, he has won your trust, he has won your mind.</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">In my case, I was fortunate enough that I had an intervention in the form of the USA Immigration Service - God bless their honest red tape!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">If my story and the lost twenty years of loyalty to my groomer has any redeeming fact, I hope that it has this - to bring greater awareness to the process of predatory grooming. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;">Let us cast light into the corners of those shadows. Let us drive out the evil lurking in our churches and schools and homes and communities and our lives.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><b>In your hour of evil, </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><b>when the shadow darkens your door,</b></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: #45818e;"><b>remember my story, and remember my words of warning.</b></span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKS6GgvG3iS9UjXj09eRH0Op0o1NAIPJgUjkJuyX7szu_27pdlpnrJ7fI0mzu14IlhbxTOyAh5V-i8mRlrY5xPzixkICkIr4G4PHNB8EIkZSy1NjZEDtRbH_JyWa0kY4ASG5RoDoCnN0k/s1600/quote10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKS6GgvG3iS9UjXj09eRH0Op0o1NAIPJgUjkJuyX7szu_27pdlpnrJ7fI0mzu14IlhbxTOyAh5V-i8mRlrY5xPzixkICkIr4G4PHNB8EIkZSy1NjZEDtRbH_JyWa0kY4ASG5RoDoCnN0k/s640/quote10.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif; line-height: 17.5636348724365px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #1f1f1f; font-family: "open sans" , "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><br /></span>southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-52050628369312081142015-05-26T11:56:00.000+12:002015-05-26T11:56:06.656+12:00The Duggars and Bill Gothard. Is God Cleaning the House?If you're not tired yet of reading hundreds of blog posts about the Duggars, here's another one.<br />
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I have thought long and hard about posting on this controversy on my personal blog. It is not easy for me to do that, but with all the news that has come out lately about the Duggar sexual molestation scandal I felt that I had a right to weigh in on this and voice my opinions, because even though I do not know the Duggar family personally, we have many mutual friends, because the Duggars and I have a mutual personal connection, and that c<a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/stephaniemcneal/a-homeschooling-program-promoted-by-the-duggars-has-troublin#.et0OYambR" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">onnection is Bill Gothard.</a><br />
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I have waded through dozens of blog posts and news articles with varying opinions and some have made me want to stand up and cheer and applaud, and others have left me shaking my head and burying my face in my hands for shame.<br />
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I never thought the day would come where I would be thankful for whoever it is that chooses the television programmes for New Zealand, but for whatever reason <i>19 Kids and Counting</i> is relatively unknown in this country, so I don't have to see it flash across my tv screen bringing with it the triggers of my experiences with the cult that the Duggars are in, nor specifically my experiences with the man who ran the cult. If you are not familiar with <a href="http://www.recoveringgrace.org/2014/01/sacred-grooming-part-one/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">my story, here is the link</a> again. Some of us even <a href="http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/04/open-letter-duggar-family-stop-supporting-ministry-bill-gothard-alleged-sexual-harassment/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">pleaded with the Duggar family</a> to make a public statement about Bill Gothard.<br />
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I am not a teacher or a person who is a great studier. I don't spend hours and hours looking up Bible verses and figuring out the root meanings of the words, but since the beginning of all this controversy in the christian world - from Doug Phillips to Bill Gothard to the Duggar Family, I have had a deep belief that God is cleaning house. (1 Peter 4v17).<br />
<br />
God is cleaning house.<br />
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I have always thought that the Duggars seemed like nice people. Misguided as we all were when we were involved in ATI and IBLP. Conned by what other people have termed the 'greatest threat to modern day christianity' - Patriarchy and fundamentalism. Bill Gothard and his powerful personality and persuasion. He influenced a whole generation of christians. He sounded good, it sounded right, but it wasn't. His version of God took us far, far away from the real God.<br />
<br />
I have been stunned at how many christians are saying that what the Duggars are going through is persecution. Persecution! You are kidding me, right? Persecution is what the christians in Iraq are going through. Or the christians in North Korea. They are persecuted because they are christians. Not because they are sexual predators.<br />
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The Duggars brand of 'persecution' is self inflicted. They invited the media into their home. They've been in bed with publicity and television cameras and newspaper headlines for years. What is more astonishing is that they knew they had this skeleton in their family closet, and they still went ahead with the reality tv programme. Either they are incredibly naive, self-serving or they were ill-informed.<br />
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Many people say that the world is being hard on them because they are christians and they stood for what is right and moral and good. But many of these people don't understand that the brand of christianity that the Duggars follow is a performance brand. I know this because I worked for Bill Gothard for many years and followed the same brand. The basis of his teaching was that if you lived a certain way - that is, kept sin out as much as humanly possible, then God will bless you, your life will be successful and you will never have to deal with hard things, like sexual abuse in your family.<br />
<br />
See how that worked out for the Duggars.<br />
<br />
I imagine they were left reeling in shock when this happened to their family. Nobody wants that. So the Bill Gothard way is to try harder. Make the girls less tempting by covering up their bodies as much as possible. Side hugs only. No kissing. The list goes on and on. It's why they were so rigid with their courtship/dating stance. It's why they homeschool. It's why they have so many children. It's why the girls dress the way they do. Please God. Please God. Please God and He might not let anything bad happen. He will bless you.<br />
Ugh.<br />
A different God.<br />
<br />
My heart breaks for those sweet, beautiful Duggar girls. I even had some sympathy for their brother, because I know what they have grown up in - repression and shame. They have not been allowed to grow and develop normally. Yes, our world is full of sin and evil, and yes, children should be sheltered when they are young, but christianity is not about hiding ourselves away from the world. We can't. We are in it. We are no different to any other person walking the face of this planet. The only difference is that we found Jesus who will cover our sins with His blood when we stand before God because we acknowledged our ability to be evil and we asked him to protect us from dying eternally because of it. That's it. That's all it is.<br />
<br />
But my husband, who has worked with criminals for over 30 years in law enforcement, and many of those criminals are sex offenders, did not have much sympathy. It is not normal for a 14 year old boy to grope his sister. It's not even normal for him to do it once to one sister. But it seems this was done over a period of time and to at least five. It is normal for boys and girls to experiment, to be curious, but it is not normal for them to do what Josh Duggar did.<br />
<br />
And what happened - he got shipped off to one of Bill Gothard's training centers, where he teaches that sometimes the victim is the one to blame.<br />
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What can we do about the Duggars?<br />
<br />
I think it is a time for christians to show them love. To show them the real love of God. I think it is a time when we can reach out to them and say, 'hey, we love you, we are praying for you." This has to be a dreadful time for them. It will not hurt us to show compassion.<br />
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But it is also not a time to defend them, or to cry persecution.<br />
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It's a time to look inward. To our churches, to our belief structure, to find out if the God we have been following is the real God, or a man-made one. Is the basis of our faith one of performance or one of grace?<br />
<br />
The conversation is healthy all while being heart-wrenching.<br />
<br />
I do believe the time has come to clean up the house.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-20405620349857009052015-05-17T10:33:00.004+12:002015-05-17T10:42:18.059+12:00They're Changing Flags...I quite like our New Zealand flag. I have no objection to it.<br />
The union jack gives testament to our historic ties to England, and the four stars of the Southern Cross represent our place on the planet.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3wSFbFpVyrEAB8T-g7Ns7dPDulPB84DqrapQayrSI_N18VGQgREfWX24Y8v_RXyrHC24wUZ3nq12_BL3xGznH_jLGgW9dCCpog3XOJDlyo5f4siHbYAbznUNxOLGeekT9_F-qFQMEgmE/s1600/FlagNZ.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3wSFbFpVyrEAB8T-g7Ns7dPDulPB84DqrapQayrSI_N18VGQgREfWX24Y8v_RXyrHC24wUZ3nq12_BL3xGznH_jLGgW9dCCpog3XOJDlyo5f4siHbYAbznUNxOLGeekT9_F-qFQMEgmE/s320/FlagNZ.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br />
But there are winds of change afoot, and a new flag is being discussed and will be voted on soon.<br />
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How do you feel about a flag change?<br />
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I have no strong feelings either way. I like the current flag. I like it's historic significance, but I also think it says a lot about our small country that we are discussing a change. Does this mean we're feeling independent enough to assert our growing autonomy?<br />
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In thinking about this debate, I keep coming back to the Canadian flag. It is arguably, one of the most recognisable flags in the world and was chosen as the official flag in 1965. Previously, it also emblazoned the majestic Union Jack. In using just red and white and a large Maple leaf, we all know which country this flag belongs to. It's simple, but it stands out. I would hope that New Zealand would adopt similar guides. Simple and bold.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRk1AxrTeuT5IBdOoDwZTiLykDR5G-oeQ95ImmBaoHlQDyBVpoDJ_vdc9jsnYFQ4RWrDDcwowF44EXXumd8xvvQGeblAFqwmVsi16OPB7KtlSwdK-b67OBdFRWX7_Hts4C8Ny3nYQhSd0/s1600/FlagCanada.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRk1AxrTeuT5IBdOoDwZTiLykDR5G-oeQ95ImmBaoHlQDyBVpoDJ_vdc9jsnYFQ4RWrDDcwowF44EXXumd8xvvQGeblAFqwmVsi16OPB7KtlSwdK-b67OBdFRWX7_Hts4C8Ny3nYQhSd0/s320/FlagCanada.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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Whatever the reason, the changing of the flag has generated a lot of debate and quite a bit of creativity. Any New Zealander is free to submit ideas for a new flag, and I have been perusing some of them and decided to list a few of my favourites.<br />
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1. Design by Martin Caie from Auckland<br />
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PROS.<br />
I like this one a lot, because it is simple, keeps traditional colours and stands out.<br />
CONS:<br />
It's a little too similar to the flag of the State of Texas.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaDi38AqHeXn2mu-B4UaGfvGGRKhC8aUDS0D6LEYIH7z45Sx3ZobXUo8P6cN7PsskcrxChP_vWAoFTNou7T9Kr2Jgzvl3w9tADAdyUuYT5fDynRKju83-YY8YanltG26bly_Xx3Un0Ezk/s1600/flagstar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaDi38AqHeXn2mu-B4UaGfvGGRKhC8aUDS0D6LEYIH7z45Sx3ZobXUo8P6cN7PsskcrxChP_vWAoFTNou7T9Kr2Jgzvl3w9tADAdyUuYT5fDynRKju83-YY8YanltG26bly_Xx3Un0Ezk/s320/flagstar.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/design/4530" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a><br />
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Or this variation, but I do not like black in a flag, for the reasons that it is dreadfully dull - I like colour - and because of the current association of black with the IS flag.<br />
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<br /></div>
<div>
This design by Ryan Maxwell from Auckland<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDRVjWp6XC5maDpD57OtEe_mAp2LQUfBamG46G09XsIh47yyx9stB3x-8AxHLp7YC-JhDnbviz7p7TFduQ84m44YEbBSnsEpp-YfhneBG1PjpGKPp4CvQIjwGkhZ9pa78TuFlhVDWjQ2I/s1600/flagstar.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDRVjWp6XC5maDpD57OtEe_mAp2LQUfBamG46G09XsIh47yyx9stB3x-8AxHLp7YC-JhDnbviz7p7TFduQ84m44YEbBSnsEpp-YfhneBG1PjpGKPp4CvQIjwGkhZ9pa78TuFlhVDWjQ2I/s400/flagstar.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/design/3768" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br />
2. Designed by Martin Hermans from Auckland<br />
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<div>
PROS: This is actually one of my favourite designs. It keeps the traditional royal blue, the Southern Cross and changes the union jack slightly to also represent our Maori heritage.</div>
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CONS: Not much of a change from the original?</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLFGV-zRzhRtnsiW_MO7tKJmQC9ZXi3C-LOguCeQzDcfWI4yapZVoQn71BRf3eKHATpQMng7Y8156d4GX_8WCd_iPmlrRGZYKmLyYzUcVmW1Mbdz9tmmhsGKpZh_JvuqwZWkssyeUVOqw/s1600/flagbluejack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLFGV-zRzhRtnsiW_MO7tKJmQC9ZXi3C-LOguCeQzDcfWI4yapZVoQn71BRf3eKHATpQMng7Y8156d4GX_8WCd_iPmlrRGZYKmLyYzUcVmW1Mbdz9tmmhsGKpZh_JvuqwZWkssyeUVOqw/s400/flagbluejack.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/design/4344" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
3. Designed by Kyle Lockwood from Auckland</div>
<div>
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<div>
PROS: This is currently my favourite. I like the traditional colours, the inclusion of the Southern Cross and the large white silver fern which has special significance to us kiwis. It just kind of has that official look too, if you know what I mean.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTrFI8CaBsfDLun4RuuBA_hDA2eOOd_xbUEUCR2cHhSOCULGPgab2yIkDs3KNnfPXkkeFITUD-dHwk4N14J0fojn5zsJICA0It_SwB1DSUUFuFTO_nl16qIZOHy_xB_liH8QPLXV0AAsI/s1600/flagvariant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTrFI8CaBsfDLun4RuuBA_hDA2eOOd_xbUEUCR2cHhSOCULGPgab2yIkDs3KNnfPXkkeFITUD-dHwk4N14J0fojn5zsJICA0It_SwB1DSUUFuFTO_nl16qIZOHy_xB_liH8QPLXV0AAsI/s400/flagvariant.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/design/3675" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Add caption</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
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4. Designed by Simon Aiken from International<br />
<br />
PROS: My husband likes this one - he thinks it's original and quirky. Me, not so much, but I appreciate the design originality. It incorporates the Southern Cross, the red, white and blue, has a nod to Maori tukituki (slightly stretching it there), and is forward thinking in the digital code.<br />
CONS: Not really visually identifiable as kiwi.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4xNrmA7GXHF1maaq9Z4Oj14cq5ioRP4Tsw4Gqlh5PNlQGwHx9BdUS2glFlz0ObmrJr8guuPygLiHG6YfGWqCAFX5ra4yFVwnfe8bYTJA5tDrA0EIxyKCtfDcjyNH5i_vstjGrW9lSV9s/s1600/flagdigital.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4xNrmA7GXHF1maaq9Z4Oj14cq5ioRP4Tsw4Gqlh5PNlQGwHx9BdUS2glFlz0ObmrJr8guuPygLiHG6YfGWqCAFX5ra4yFVwnfe8bYTJA5tDrA0EIxyKCtfDcjyNH5i_vstjGrW9lSV9s/s400/flagdigital.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/design/3391" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Add caption</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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5. Designed by Andrew Sims from Auckland<br />
PROS: I really, really like this flag. It would be instantly recognisable. Probably in my top favourites.<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4LAJBoLUb_klaIILp0UVdc_G33NFZj5e0obTXJ7NpouwzfdrTYgDgGnAge-UWUbfiE6JTkG0jjIJrUWS7l97Eo0vIycRyQ0p3yveC09eheVNTI2RR3J4nKQ06oxX-Z5MK4a5iHvZ4THo/s1600/flagstars.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4LAJBoLUb_klaIILp0UVdc_G33NFZj5e0obTXJ7NpouwzfdrTYgDgGnAge-UWUbfiE6JTkG0jjIJrUWS7l97Eo0vIycRyQ0p3yveC09eheVNTI2RR3J4nKQ06oxX-Z5MK4a5iHvZ4THo/s320/flagstars.jpeg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/design/472" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a><br />
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small; text-align: justify;">There are dozens of flag designs that have been submitted, and you can </span><a href="https://www.govt.nz/browse/engaging-with-government/the-nz-flag-your-chance-to-decide/gallery/" rel="nofollow" style="font-size: medium; text-align: justify;" target="_blank">view them all here</a><span style="font-size: small; text-align: justify;">. What I think would be a good idea for the government to do once the final designs are chosen for the vote, is to make the flags up and fly them from a mast, as that would give us a better idea of how it would look at official occasions. What do you think?</span></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Which one do you like?<br />
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-69029945286997694232015-05-05T10:43:00.001+12:002015-05-05T10:55:43.542+12:00The Royal Tradition of Familial Baby NamesThere has been quite a bit of discussion in our household over the naming of the newest Princess.<br />
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Having our own little Alice and the girl next door called Charlotte, there have been two little girls very excited to see whether their name would be chosen.<br />
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I guess the girl next door won, but Alice was not to be disappointed. Elizabeth is also her second name.<br />
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I really love the tradition of naming babies after family members. It is obviously something that is important in the Royal household, but what about you? Have you used family names when naming your own children?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj2azOcir-04GjIajOJIkOHZCNxJ0dtxhnHamPrqWPMAKXx39_qU9SwrzU_AIbLXtx_YTQIRFDTIlteEUHw9zFgt17AVSj7f0fCVWgONP47W31yR_Z_QqR_Q0O54uWw3X_RF_DrLeDFlU/s1600/IMG_4369.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgj2azOcir-04GjIajOJIkOHZCNxJ0dtxhnHamPrqWPMAKXx39_qU9SwrzU_AIbLXtx_YTQIRFDTIlteEUHw9zFgt17AVSj7f0fCVWgONP47W31yR_Z_QqR_Q0O54uWw3X_RF_DrLeDFlU/s640/IMG_4369.JPG" width="640" /></a></div>
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We did a mixture.<br />
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When I was studying New Zealand history I discovered that Maori had a long tradition of naming their babies after family members who had passed away around or near to the time of the birth, or named after significant places or important events. I think it's a wonderful tie to the past - a link to honour those who have made our existence possible. For Maori, before they had their written language, it was a way of recording past events.<br />
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Our eldest son Hugh takes his name from at least 5 generations of Hugh's. There's a family legend involving the original Hugh who sailed out to New Zealand from Scotland, but that is a story for another day. His middle name is after a New Zealand judge who was my husband's godfather. But we later found out it was also a surname on my husband's side.<br />
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Our eldest daughter's first name is a name we chose because we liked it, but her second name is Frances, after her paternal grandmother. Many (not all) of her first born girl cousins have the same second name in honour of their grandmother who passed away before she even met any of her grandchildren.<br />
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Our third child's second name is after my maternal Grandfather, Roy Spencer, MBE. I have always liked the name Spencer, and I once promised my dear Grandad that one day I would name one of my children after him. Probably a foolish promise to make, but in my youthful enthusiasm it was a way of me telling him how much I loved him.<br />
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And Elizabeth was chosen as a second name for Alice. It is a favourite family name going back through my mother's lineage. We can trace it as far back as the early 1800's. There is an Elizabeth in every generation.<br />
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How do you choose your names? Do you mix it up like we did, or are you like the royals and go for family names through and through?<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-10143095509654636862015-04-07T14:36:00.001+12:002015-04-07T18:50:37.635+12:00Hunting The Dead In A Beautiful PlaceOne of my favourite things to do is to hunt down the dead.<br />
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Ancestry research is great fun. If you like puzzles and you like mysteries, this is a pastime that is as much thrilling as it is enlightening.<br />
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Rob and I pulled up alongside the <a href="http://www.waitakere.govt.nz/cnlser/cm/index.asp#Office" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Waikumete cemetery</a> in Auckland on a warm Saturday afternoon. We had called ahead during the week, so we had a fair idea of where Great Grandfather x3 Foley was buried.<br />
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We squeezed through the overgrown hedge and found ourselves in one of the oldest grave sites of early New Zealand. A beautiful, sloping green field dotted with the grey, crumbling headstones of our ancestors. Many were still in good repair, but many were rusty and broken and fallen, overgrown with grass and briar roses, where the earth had sunken around the buried coffins, and the concrete sealing some of the graves had lifted away from the foundations, cracking and twisting through the hundreds of years of sun and rain and nature's ceaseless and unfettered march.<br />
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As Rob explained to me, the cemetery employees, as a government-owned entity is responsible for the upkeep of the grounds, not for the upkeep of the graves. That is left for family to tend to, and as the years pass, and family pass too, the dead are forgotten and abandoned. It's only when we, the young and the living wish to seek our roots and familial connections that we look for them again and come to find the final resting places of our kinsmen.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LwFMDuKRBiyQgFv6AHveAJrke8KuMGvK-Qy3uy_-mckLwyFAalCfPXYqNl4PolWUnD_FdpCkXxDxP8K34mh6bFevWE3e7QjLLbu72_snc5VmDygGQ9aJEixT2ypdZm5DX0IDC4TSrLc/s1600/IMG_8930.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6LwFMDuKRBiyQgFv6AHveAJrke8KuMGvK-Qy3uy_-mckLwyFAalCfPXYqNl4PolWUnD_FdpCkXxDxP8K34mh6bFevWE3e7QjLLbu72_snc5VmDygGQ9aJEixT2ypdZm5DX0IDC4TSrLc/s1600/IMG_8930.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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On my mother's maternal side, we have a rich oral and written history, but on her mother's father's side there is not much information at all. I think my Great Grandmother's family had a strong and large unit of aunties and uncles and cousins and a close bond with their Maori heritage that it dominated the family stories and connections, but in the last month I found myself wondering about my mother's grandfather and his origins, so I began a little digging around to see what came up.<br />
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Stephen Foley, my Great grandfather died a couple of years after I was born, and as I hunted around I discovered that his grandfather and grandmother, John and Hannah Sarah Foley immigrated to New Zealand among the first early settlers of the 1800s, and they came from Ireland.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7G8grcN9SRaWIttZD7XVi-C-jPetWDZBnDP86J5-j72LW9LTI0uoVbw2_Tp5Ude_2VG2ptMKsXQLrS03pVDhzhk9ISFPAUWDY-YieglmetRyXgOdOoeKFKBDQJIFCEJprgke605rGCqs/s1600/IMG_8932.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7G8grcN9SRaWIttZD7XVi-C-jPetWDZBnDP86J5-j72LW9LTI0uoVbw2_Tp5Ude_2VG2ptMKsXQLrS03pVDhzhk9ISFPAUWDY-YieglmetRyXgOdOoeKFKBDQJIFCEJprgke605rGCqs/s1600/IMG_8932.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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We had always suspected we had Irish blood, not the least because throughout my lifetime people would always refer to the dark ring around my green eyes as being Irish. The legend goes that if you have that, you have Irish blood.<br />
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Well, now I've proven it. My Great x3 grandfather was Irish. His wife was Welsh, and they came to New Zealand to start afresh. He was a book binder, and he died in Auckland in 1893 and was buried in the Roman Catholic Division of the Waikumete Cemetery.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaSP6HvCHd8vWX9vzkzmdDWwZfagL-hUR3oyv-WickvpUbU2mvammwu7XtpeBdu8dDHtgyK02fYcr9SIwqOmvsClCZRIZmLhVhThIdM3lw3cfa4-xrogjshraEOYaYkNRR0go57Xtf9vY/s1600/IMG_8928.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaSP6HvCHd8vWX9vzkzmdDWwZfagL-hUR3oyv-WickvpUbU2mvammwu7XtpeBdu8dDHtgyK02fYcr9SIwqOmvsClCZRIZmLhVhThIdM3lw3cfa4-xrogjshraEOYaYkNRR0go57Xtf9vY/s1600/IMG_8928.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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But as Rob and I wandered up and down, we failed to find the Foley headstone.<br />
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The old part of the cemetery is not very well organised. We were told John Foley was buried in Row 1, plot 63, so we wandered up and down, checking. Some graves were unreadable. There would be moss grown over the etchings or the words had faded into oblivion. We couldn't be sure if we were looking at our family member's headstone or not.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcMUrMQA0Qm4eDdV075b4CjFtMJ6_xndQe3vQT4UV58BDEwUAf6fL_TWC6-cpGPhmQ_siRtrVTG10G4dZzjj8YBOZ3dbLreCYWE-8_UQZf5IE0yhY7JDyBvBm1EVL8HJOq5ErYuWU5rng/s1600/IMG_8943.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcMUrMQA0Qm4eDdV075b4CjFtMJ6_xndQe3vQT4UV58BDEwUAf6fL_TWC6-cpGPhmQ_siRtrVTG10G4dZzjj8YBOZ3dbLreCYWE-8_UQZf5IE0yhY7JDyBvBm1EVL8HJOq5ErYuWU5rng/s1600/IMG_8943.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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So we drove back to the office. Twice.<br />
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If I had the job of working in a cemetery I would be so interested if people turned up looking for an ancestor. I would love to help in the hunt, doing what I could to assist, but the staff at the Waikumete Cemetery were either extremely bored, depressed or just didn't love what they did for a living, because we had to go back twice to find the information. The second time we struck a different staff member and she was more helpful, if slightly bored, and brought out a large ancient cardboard plan of the old cemetery. We had to use the magnifying glass to find the written number on the tiny, faded squares that represented the plot sites, and when we did find it, it was the one part of the old, worn cardboard sheet that had torn and worn away, just like the graves. No markings. No number. No record. The upkeep and record keeping is very poor, in my opinion. This needs to be rectified as soon as possible to preserve history for future generation.<br />
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What had happened to my Great great great grandparents original headstone, I do not know. The cemetery had a record of the etching with their names and dates of death, but there was nothing that remained to physically mark the graves, other than a slight indentation in the earth. John's wife Hannah is buried in plot 61 - also unmarked, and John's grave is a double grave, his daughter Elizabeth dying 6 years before him, 4 months after her mother, in 1887. When John died, he was buried on top. Why did Elizabeth, my Great great Aunt and her mother die so closely together - within a few months? This is another piece of the puzzle.<br />
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We did find them - we know where they are buried now, but there is nothing to mark it, other than this old tree that grows over the site.<br />
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We photographed the graves beside.<br />
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and recorded the site for our future reference.<br />
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I am going to look into getting a small marker for John and Elizabeth and Hannah. It doesn't seem right that the two people who gave us the privilege of being new Zealanders don't have anything tangible to remember them by, other than their genetic gift of their many descendents. I hope we can rectify that.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8wMIfTQVJGu2gtwukjiwA9WMJRRzKjRnIZ6jA0xWzX0qzP1RjWmRFegIEmu8e6ApGxd1VY5buAm_rFWy0v037XIJw1KvqjFMvSxHJ0MAZQQq9Zn_rjdTYRkM9XoJvUepHOYWM-ko3sDI/s1600/IMG_8937.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8wMIfTQVJGu2gtwukjiwA9WMJRRzKjRnIZ6jA0xWzX0qzP1RjWmRFegIEmu8e6ApGxd1VY5buAm_rFWy0v037XIJw1KvqjFMvSxHJ0MAZQQq9Zn_rjdTYRkM9XoJvUepHOYWM-ko3sDI/s1600/IMG_8937.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>John Foley</b> born 1814, County Carlow, Ireland</div>
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Book Binder. </div>
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Died aged 80 years, April 16, 1893 in Auckland, New Zealand</div>
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His wife,</div>
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<b>Hannah Sarah Foley</b>, born 1820, Glamorgan, Wales</div>
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Died, aged 66, 7 February 1887<br />
Occupation: Domestic</div>
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Their daughter Miss <b>Elizabeth Mary Foley</b> (buried with John)</div>
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born in London, 1857</div>
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died in Auckland, 30 May, 1887 (age 29 years)<br />
Occupation: Domestic</div>
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Buried in the Roman Catholic division of the Waikumete Cemetery, Auckland</div>
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Row 1, Plots 61 and 63.</div>
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-23054672119800436272015-03-24T20:20:00.000+13:002015-03-24T20:38:59.565+13:00Not Really The Kiwi WaySo there's been a bit of fuss lately over <a href="http://www.stuff.co.nz/the-press/opinion/67478246/St-Bedes-parents-High-Court-action-stinks-of-self-entitlement" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">this story</a>.<br />
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Two high-school lads, from a private school in Christchurch took a ride on a baggage carousel at one of our busy airports, while in transit on a school trip.</div>
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It was against the rules. Actually, it was a serious breach of national security. </div>
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If you've been to an airport lately you will have seen and be familiar with the signs warning against riding the baggage carousel.</div>
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But you know what boys are like. </div>
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I know what they're like. I have two, and I went on an international school trip last year with several teenagers from our school.</div>
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Before we left my teenage son had to sign all kinds of agreements, and as well as signing the agreements the teachers verbally warned them that if they broke the rules they would be on the next flight home. Heck, we the parents had to sign stuff too.</div>
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We read it. We heard it. We agreed to it. We signed it.</div>
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It sounds like St. Bede's School, where these two carousel-riding-boys attended, also had such rules in place. Schools have to do that now. What other way do they have of controlling their students, especially when they are in a group away from home and they have the safety of children to consider?</div>
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I don't think the boys did anything necessarily bad in jumping on the carousel. They're just kids, looking for a laugh. But kids do tend to be thoughtless when they're in the moment. If they'd jumped off before passing through to the secure area this might not have ever made the headlines. But they didn't. They breached security and rode past the ribbons into a secure airport area.</div>
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The school pulled them from their rowing regatta as punishment.</div>
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The parents didn't like that. After all, any sports regatta or tournament is expensive, and a lot of time and effort goes into training. I get that. It would also have let the whole entire team down.</div>
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So the parents took it to the court and got a judge to overturn it.</div>
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And so the New Zealand public has been hotly debating this for the past few days, and the majority seems to agree with the school.</div>
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These are my thoughts on the matter.</div>
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At first I was sympathetic. They're just boys. One of our boys on our trip last year did this in the airplane. It was silly, and we frowned and tut-tutted appropriately (while smiling into the corner), but it's just boy-stuff, you know, not worthy of being sent home. </div>
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Then I read more into this carousel matter, and I do believe now that the school are rightly justified in taking the action they did.</div>
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<div>
What if this had happened to two boys from a public school? Maybe they'd be from families less well-off than these private-school families. They would have been sent home, and they would have had to take their punishment and had to live with the consequences of their foolish actions.</div>
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This matter smacks of elitism. It screams arrogance.<br />
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Mummy and Daddy have the dosh, so let's go running off to court. We won't let our sons learn the natural law of consequence. We won't teach them, by backing the school authorities that sometimes if you break the rules you don't and shouldn't get away with it.<br />
Yes, the rest of the team would have been let down, but that is what being part of a team is all about. You work for the good of everyone. You keep the rules, because you're part of a team.<br />
Sport, at it's foundation, teaches character. Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. It's part of life.<br />
<br />
This was a selfish, thoughtless, foolish act by kids, and the parents are supporting their children in their selfishness. Perhaps we shouldn't be surprised, by the responses of the parents, that the children flouted the rules. Perhaps this precedent had already been set at home.</div>
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We won't teach them personal responsibility. We'll throw our money into a lawyer and we'll show them! We are important people because we have money. Money that can help us get our own way.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Whatever the parents say, in justifying their actions, this is the message that the rest of New Zealand is getting. If you have money, you can over-ride the rules.<br />
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It's elitist and it's arrogant.</div>
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It is very un-kiwi. It is not our way. It should not be our way.</div>
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What would you have done, if your son had been part of this?</div>
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-53054629139611986442015-03-07T15:41:00.003+13:002015-03-07T15:41:52.143+13:00Five on Friday - March 6, 2015My week has been an assortment of eclectic things.<br />
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I finished this little project for my grand niece, Elsie. I think I must be the slowest (and maybe the youngest at 43, great aunt knitter), as this was supposed to be a gift back in November, then it got bumped to Christmas and now... well, it's a just because gift.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyp1H-lcuiw2zg9N8Eg2-7mQfgxWStYVJSfnQ-dOTjU_FnKCSGzQD70P-E4S0huLBOXCFce7Vx7X0C3Fuqrn2IbF4pvh2lFMMsfkGzshZbGqEct3vo3IAceEgP34AKskNCGY3DBavgHxA/s1600/IMG_2546.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyp1H-lcuiw2zg9N8Eg2-7mQfgxWStYVJSfnQ-dOTjU_FnKCSGzQD70P-E4S0huLBOXCFce7Vx7X0C3Fuqrn2IbF4pvh2lFMMsfkGzshZbGqEct3vo3IAceEgP34AKskNCGY3DBavgHxA/s1600/IMG_2546.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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I have not been having much success with knitting lately. I started this hat which I bought off Ravelry last year, but it is too complicated for me, I think I'm going to have to give up on it. Too many stitches over 4 double-pointed needles, linen stitch and lots of wraps and turns, and with everything else going on it's just too much and too unimportant at the moment for me to try to figure it out. Such a cute hat, though!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXV3H_jor6KnFMZTlUGfsdDN5FubHhoVE-ykFFflNdkZuuvzTutCpaUK86iy51fb4M0SUzss_4rO0RUqeZQz21UkXkVGklaMfvH8y8eN-4p8lur8tUzN3AYDDTI6wzG_NcDwb4Mb5OAG4/s1600/IMG_2545.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXV3H_jor6KnFMZTlUGfsdDN5FubHhoVE-ykFFflNdkZuuvzTutCpaUK86iy51fb4M0SUzss_4rO0RUqeZQz21UkXkVGklaMfvH8y8eN-4p8lur8tUzN3AYDDTI6wzG_NcDwb4Mb5OAG4/s1600/IMG_2545.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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I was thrilled to find that the Frangipaani plant my husband gave me for my birthday in November 2013 bloomed this week for the first time! This is one of my favourite flowers and reminds me so much of the time I lived in Hawaii, so it brings back happy memories.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMGgZrrGh1XJz-eAYtri6IpXcmxp8gwEoUqnwAMlMH1uWoI51RGOMW37ImbijXFu-roCSv97k-SmGWd45XUmnbBxxsX2Iz0IkRML6UuFHhJ1GQ8_Qhf7UGNGoeL5p7R40IeJIUXlE9PCM/s1600/IMG_2576.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMGgZrrGh1XJz-eAYtri6IpXcmxp8gwEoUqnwAMlMH1uWoI51RGOMW37ImbijXFu-roCSv97k-SmGWd45XUmnbBxxsX2Iz0IkRML6UuFHhJ1GQ8_Qhf7UGNGoeL5p7R40IeJIUXlE9PCM/s1600/IMG_2576.jpg" height="640" width="480" /></a></div>
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The one thing that has totally absorbed me this week is researching my family history.<br />
As a story-teller, I love diving into the rich histories and finding out little nuggets of information. I've been all over the place this week from 17th century Scotland to England to Stewart Island in New Zealand. I discovered my ancestors from the Orkney Islands, Wick, Caithness, Kirkcaldy, Scotland. Sheffield, England and my Maori heritage of New Zealand. I'm wondering if my ancestors were victims of the Highland Clearances of the early 1800's which is why they came to New Zealand. I am yet to find that out, but here is an ancient church where my Great great great Grandparents were married in 1852 before emigrating. The Kirk of St. Nicholas in Aberdeen.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3fv42YO8QlLz4I2zwKwiE-HXbrpJ7quCwdIlYpDoS4Kqg6LDcte4QMyGhmfzQ77esNG4DyiqRqiH5fs56OKr1aewSyQrUHYP5p7_rG_gcvY7PaEXKiqm9g1-IgpZVgvE4j1JcjzhI7g/s1600/kirkstNicholasAberdeen1852.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF3fv42YO8QlLz4I2zwKwiE-HXbrpJ7quCwdIlYpDoS4Kqg6LDcte4QMyGhmfzQ77esNG4DyiqRqiH5fs56OKr1aewSyQrUHYP5p7_rG_gcvY7PaEXKiqm9g1-IgpZVgvE4j1JcjzhI7g/s1600/kirkstNicholasAberdeen1852.jpg" height="640" width="428" /></a></div>
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And finally, we are still getting very hot days here, so we have been spending alot of time up at the pool and I've been getting in and enjoying it too, with the children. My 6 year old and I took a selfie after one of our swims.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_za_VNDSsdXn9_cfgSzLWNsbkSYbzf5D65TNdgherLt3Dqass68Eiki58V53zg1pRftmClZo7AYLCHSEMPr8b6uVNjY5W2EV8xejm2euI6mR2jVTHJi_317UQFRFbXYKx_jE57iLRIGw/s1600/IMG_3317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_za_VNDSsdXn9_cfgSzLWNsbkSYbzf5D65TNdgherLt3Dqass68Eiki58V53zg1pRftmClZo7AYLCHSEMPr8b6uVNjY5W2EV8xejm2euI6mR2jVTHJi_317UQFRFbXYKx_jE57iLRIGw/s1600/IMG_3317.JPG" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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Joining in with <a href="http://lovemademyhome.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Five%20on%20Friday" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Amy here.</a><br />
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<a href="http://lovemademyhome.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Five%20on%20Friday" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1065.photobucket.com/albums/u397/lovemademyhome/collage/PicMonkey%20Collage1_zpsjychxk2e.png" /></a>southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-65167697834753212502015-03-03T13:32:00.003+13:002015-03-03T13:41:15.062+13:00How I Feed My Family of 6 on $120 a WeekA few weeks ago I would have thought it impossible.<br />
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Feed 6 people for $120!<br />
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My grocery list was getting up around the $400 mark, and to be truthful, I hate spending money on food. It's a necessity, I know, but such a waste, if you know what I mean!<br />
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My Dad will tell you and my husband will tell you that I am no good with money. I am one of those people who have no respect for money. There are more important things in life and money is just one of those necessary evils. Such a pain, money!<br />
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But I have taken on this challenge and I'm actually enjoying myself. I like the thought of getting the best buy. There's something very satisfying in that and knowing that what income we do have can be used for other things.<br />
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This is what $102 in food looks like.<br />
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My trick for shopping and finding the best deals was to spend an hour planning the night before. I went to the Countdown website and made an order online (but without finishing it). I saved my list, took a screenshot on my ipad and took it with me to Pac 'N Save first (which is, apparently, New Zealand's cheapest grocery store). I was able to check quickly to see who was offering the cheaper goods as I went along the aisles. It was about half and half. Some things I was able to save a whole $1, some things were on specials with several dollars knocked off. So I went to Countdown next, which is fortunately, on the way home, and finished my shopping.<br />
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Last year I applied for a job at the school. I got shortlisted on a list of 3, but missed out.<br />
I work from home on my dreams, and writing is my marketable skill, and until I manage to sell my book, or until my kids grow up and can look after themselves, we have to live on one income.<br />
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With so much of our money tied up at the moment in our house building, and with rent prices through the roof, we are having to make some major cutbacks for a period of time, until we can stop paying rent. Seriously, I don't recommend renting - we have had to do it for 3 years longer than we planned, and it's such a drain on resources and nothing to show for it in the end.<br />
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We've also had some fairly hefty bills come in all at the same time. Our children go to a semi-private school, and while we could choose a government-funded (or public) school, we are happy to make sacrifices to give them the best education we can in an environment that we know is safe and nurturing and caring and supportive and where they are doing well academically and socially.<br />
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The washing machine broke down. A tax bill came in. We've had birthdays and weddings and school supplies to get, and all the little things that suck away at your wallet. We don't live extravegantly, but we like to live well. We like our food, and we like our treats. We like to have beautiful things around us in our home.<br />
We don't go on overseas trips and we holiday at the family bach. We don't support addictive habits and we don't drive fancy cars. We eat out rarely - only for special occasions.<br />
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So we decided to use up what was in our pantry and in our freezer and see how much we could survive on for $120 a week. And it is achievable. Just. And the money we are saving would have been my salary (before tax) if I'd managed to get the job at the school!<br />
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So I took stock of what was in the freezer and pantry and this was my menu for the week.<br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;"><i>Breakfast:</i></span> Porridge or Cornflakes or Toast<br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Monday:</span> Rolled Roast Beef done in the crockpot. <br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Tuesday:</span> Mince Burgers<br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Wednesday:</span> Mince Burgers - a wonderful, old fashioned recipe that uses teaspoonfulls of seasoned mince wrapped in a crunchy, homemade pastry and baked in the oven. It makes enough for two nights for us.<br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Thursday:</span> Chicken Curry<br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Friday:</span> Sausages<br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Saturday:</span> Bacon and Mushroom Flan<br />
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<span style="color: #6aa84f;">Sunday:</span> Creamed fish with bread cases.<br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7;"><i>Side dishes:</i></span> rice salad; lettuce salad; couscous salad; boiled potatoes with butter. Frozen mixed vege.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><i style="background-color: #674ea7;">Lunchboxes: </i></span>Sandwiches, fruit, home-baking, cheese and crackers and homemade scones and a small packet of potato chips.<br />
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The <i><span style="color: #6aa84f;">homebaking </span></i>has been an issue. I have growing children who are always hungry, and I hate baking. So I need something that would last two to three days at least. My friend Jessie gave me her recipe which made 4 trays of large cookies, and have turned out to be a real treat. <a href="http://www.tofindasilverlining.co.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Elizabeth</a> also gave me a recipe that makes 100 cookies. Can't wait to try them!<br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;"><i>Desert: </i></span>One a week - meringues with cream and passionfruit sauce. Meringues are so easy to make and only use two ingredients. Eggs and sugar, and I had plenty of those, and they make enough for my family to have desert a second night. I had some passionfruit sauce in the fridge and some cream, and voila! A beautiful treat.<br />
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<span style="color: #674ea7; font-size: large;"><i>Treats:</i></span> Sodastream for the kids. Truly, the Sodastream was the best thing we bought this summer. We purchase one flavoured sodastream syrup a week, and a generic cordial to use with just soda water.<br />
Tonic water with lemon juice for the adults. When you can't afford to buy wine or even cider, tonic water with lemon juice is a nice substitute. Not the same, I know, but quite nice after dinner in the evening. We call it the Poor Man's Wine!<br />
Good coffee.<br />
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We don't have to buy fruit. We live in a region of New Zealand where fruit is abundant and relatives who have established fruit trees are kind and generous. This week we have apples, plums, nashi pears and avocados. I did splash out on some bananas at the grocery store, and a handful of lemons.<br />
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So that is my supply of groceries this week that cost me $102, leaving $18 for bread and milk which we buy at <a href="http://www.couplands.com/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Couplands</a>, because it's the cheapest.<br />
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I have also been getting into the habit of stock-piling over the years. I learned this from <a href="http://cottagetails.blogspot.co.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Leanne of Cottage Tails</a>, and now when things are tightening up this is proving its worth. I haven't had to buy sugar or sauces or oils or rice or other things like that which are easily stored in the pantry.<br />
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I haven't had to buy meat either, as I am using up what is in the freezer. When I do have to buy meat, I will probably have to extend my budget to $150, but I think this will be achievable if I plan a vegetarian meal in there somewhere.<br />
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So who would have thought that this girl with a bad head for figures could work to a budget and actually have fun on it. Miracle!<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-59852557359530159722015-02-28T08:02:00.003+13:002015-02-28T08:08:15.953+13:00Five on Friday- Feb 2015This year I've decided to join in with Amy from <a href="http://lovemademyhome.blogspot.co.nz/p/five-on.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Love Made My Home</a>, with her Five on Friday meme. While it is technically Saturday here in New Zealand, the Five in Friday originates in England, and it's Friday there, so that is my disclaimer!<br />
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1. Last week we went and had fish and chips on the beach with our niece Kristina, from Auckland, and I allowed my son to have a play with my good camera, a Canon. It wasn't until a few days later when I was looking at the new photos downloaded onto my laptop, that I was stunned with how good he is at photography. He always seems to get an interesting, unique angle on things.<br />
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2. We have had quite a few big bills come in at this time of the year. School fees, birthdays, sports fees, uniforms, the extra cost of my son having to learn French through the Correspondence School (long story, but if you are a friend on Facebook, you will have heard my rants on that), along with the usual bills of rent and petrol and power and food. So this week, food was way down the list and I've been using up what was in the pantry and freezer, and so grateful for family who live near by and have established fruit trees so we have had fresh fruit to pop into the kids' lunchboxes. And there is nothing prettier than a little grove of bountiful fruit trees.<br />
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3. It is still very hot here in New Zealand. I am a creature who prefers the cold. After studying my ancestry this week, I think I know why..... my ancestors hail from the Orkney Islands in the far north of Scotland, and Stewart Island in the far south of New Zealand. Hardy people from harsh environments. So after school, on the days that we can make it, we've been going up to my brother in law's pool to cool off. Diving into the water I can almost hear my body breathing a sigh of relief.<br />
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4. Since my husband Rob started his new job he now works from Tuesday to Saturday, which means we get Monday all to ourselves while the children are at school. It is awesome! So this is what we did last Monday. Had a luxurious hour by ourselves at a local cafe, <a href="http://www.cafenourish.co.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Nourish.</a> When you have 4 children these times are treasures.<br />
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5. Funny little notes written by a six year old.<br />
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Linking in with Amy:</div>
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<a href="http://lovemademyhome.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Five%20on%20Friday" target="_blank"><img src="http://i1065.photobucket.com/albums/u397/lovemademyhome/collage/PicMonkey%20Collage1_zpsjychxk2e.png" /></a>
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-80282325962698422882015-02-20T13:08:00.000+13:002015-02-20T13:08:07.124+13:00Downton Abbey - my advice to Julian FellowesDear Mr. Fellowes,<br />
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Thank you for creating Downton Abbey.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/005f5e179a93abb03a6e8b8464e4f0ff/tumblr_mkwq8gt2Ua1r5mdsoo1_500.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Sourc</a>e</td></tr>
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Thank you for providing a reason... a very valid reason.... for me to not do my housework so I can catch up on episodes, and to go out and buy pretty dresses, and to dream of hiring servants, and to pretend for a fleeting moment that the basement in my house is my very own Downstairs and that dinner will be served promptly.<br />
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And thank you for making me feel good about not hiring a Nanny.<br />
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I have forgiven you for killing Matthew. It took me two whole seasons, but I have. Truly.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2sWyY80CYClMz5dBm8HkwgITJxaeOQ92c6c8eGX6b9TLfhgGC4N0M97LCtz-mqYVoy8BJeea9vTQ2ObjfwSFG4LzYSURH6hLcCrHkdj-cg05AYsQgjRj3EjLfa7HkkzPxkxKPSsULSwU/s1600/downton20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2sWyY80CYClMz5dBm8HkwgITJxaeOQ92c6c8eGX6b9TLfhgGC4N0M97LCtz-mqYVoy8BJeea9vTQ2ObjfwSFG4LzYSURH6hLcCrHkdj-cg05AYsQgjRj3EjLfa7HkkzPxkxKPSsULSwU/s1600/downton20.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.readbreatherelax.com/spoiler-free-discussion-post-thoughts-of-downton-abbey-season-3-so-far/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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As one of your millions of viewers, I wondered if you'd be interested in my humble opinions<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7la88nflz1rwwz9ao1_500.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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Downton Abbey gives us a little escape from the madness that is the modern world. It sweeps us through the ages gone, back to a time in the world in which my grandfather always described to me as a 'golden era to grow up.' The 1920's.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.tumblr.com/48c25da66af2643834f8ade7fb4a7de8/tumblr_inline_mod4awRyrv1r9i5pi.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1Ctfnlfg8rYAK_FKZ7s5BM5RJHj-r3kwFRk-JD43VHtDUiGJd-eZjXmNVSxWWhhZ2wz89PCcz7dwVpvEeLu2PmYy3-3e4L9JcP2L6eSEVnDyW3mkgpna_OYGXkFFp0CE-zxGQ2GSoEc/s1600/downton4.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgE1Ctfnlfg8rYAK_FKZ7s5BM5RJHj-r3kwFRk-JD43VHtDUiGJd-eZjXmNVSxWWhhZ2wz89PCcz7dwVpvEeLu2PmYy3-3e4L9JcP2L6eSEVnDyW3mkgpna_OYGXkFFp0CE-zxGQ2GSoEc/s1600/downton4.gif" height="326" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.tumblr.com/c0890b3fac386fb8a9649921e9bf181c/tumblr_inline_mx5gsfle0d1s2m7xu.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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Have you ever given any thought to what era in history you would like to live, if you had the chance to choose?<br />
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For me it would be the 1920's, based purely on my grandfather's recommendation, and the clothes that they wore. I realize that, given our current time in history, we know that the second world war was just around the corner for those who lived then, but is any time in world history safe? Maybe those born in the 1950s and 1960s have had the most peaceful and comfortable time in history, but those children may yet live to see their grandchildren caught up in a terror fight against the evil that is rampaging across the middle east at the moment.<br />
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So please don't stop writing this loveliness that is Downton Abbey.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgalzirC53ZvoFOWEe_mSHnes6OEfQbU-cIYWggDn3OuDx7_NsDo0J14qa02XufWgo6Y3SJH3mdzh-4QJmsM-XGgotarLZpUz-a0FrinwEdxR-JMzlhVgSLCFUvEaP672YMT3734U0xVPQ/s1600/downton5.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgalzirC53ZvoFOWEe_mSHnes6OEfQbU-cIYWggDn3OuDx7_NsDo0J14qa02XufWgo6Y3SJH3mdzh-4QJmsM-XGgotarLZpUz-a0FrinwEdxR-JMzlhVgSLCFUvEaP672YMT3734U0xVPQ/s1600/downton5.gif" height="360" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/e8566a4ac108bad59b4dd792302a7d90/tumblr_mswss26PTe1shgjp8o1_500.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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So Downton Abbey gives us a blissful escape back into a world of order and beauty and we love it for the sheer humanness of it, where the struggles of the people then are similar to the struggles we have now. Human nature never changes. We still want love and happiness.<br />
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So Mr. Fellowes, we thank you from the bottom of our hearts for creating this series, this escapism, these indulgent hours.<br />
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But (and there's always a but, isn't there), here is some free advice for series 6.<br />
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1. Please, please, please can we dispense with the storyline that sees Anna and Mr Bates heading off to jail at every other episode. It's getting very tiresome. I think they are due some happiness, and if they are not, can you please find something different to torment them with. It is done now, Mr. Fellowes. It is so done.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO-DY2QAuZo1SxxQkv2XJ9Xtd_xxeiYctraR1WUUfWalrpods5bDs5h0PWXzSKHUXOngpksJgjnBeSOFkrNWWr0lJHCu7S3vGMmRxKu9J0OwMTpiGeVXiXAmR8rV3c2iDiF4KFMGtGUho/s1600/downton12.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO-DY2QAuZo1SxxQkv2XJ9Xtd_xxeiYctraR1WUUfWalrpods5bDs5h0PWXzSKHUXOngpksJgjnBeSOFkrNWWr0lJHCu7S3vGMmRxKu9J0OwMTpiGeVXiXAmR8rV3c2iDiF4KFMGtGUho/s1600/downton12.gif" height="322" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcdi30lyxH1r8a8mao1_r1_500.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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2. Could someone, anyone, please give Mary some better lines. Poor girl always looks like someone's holding a gun to her back for every word she speaks. The lines need to be longer than one sentence, also.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI7EoopozKl6eJo0sgH3X5LkkpTEXsMoYIXDI7kPXfFdpsQ8S0LdPxMUogvm0J2buSVTMFDTYD10w1rUfkws_e5qnS-405XFUdn9ic8BvOAJYh3BSGPsKfy2a7n6iThUB-lSfozAlz1JA/s1600/downton14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI7EoopozKl6eJo0sgH3X5LkkpTEXsMoYIXDI7kPXfFdpsQ8S0LdPxMUogvm0J2buSVTMFDTYD10w1rUfkws_e5qnS-405XFUdn9ic8BvOAJYh3BSGPsKfy2a7n6iThUB-lSfozAlz1JA/s1600/downton14.jpg" height="640" width="640" /></a></div>
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3. Please don't kill off anymore spouses. Each one of those three little kiddos has a parent who has been killed off. The odds of that happening in one family, in real life, are pretty rare, so it's starting to look a little ridiculous.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnncTebD4v1CCNDRocgbvtbvVGUE1TdX1AWV-a9emvIkyswo2rIEvpkynW4ET3QI6FVIQ68tYJyDQ5osRevyb3tqaJyKzjDTaXx68DVxm-EYj3Oxp527dFC7ABI_XVymgaJJ0kaUJnABk/s1600/downton11.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnncTebD4v1CCNDRocgbvtbvVGUE1TdX1AWV-a9emvIkyswo2rIEvpkynW4ET3QI6FVIQ68tYJyDQ5osRevyb3tqaJyKzjDTaXx68DVxm-EYj3Oxp527dFC7ABI_XVymgaJJ0kaUJnABk/s1600/downton11.gif" height="288" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://31.media.tumblr.com/0e83d00a6056f3f88f3c82b76e787cb1/tumblr_mjk1krbq3F1qe96r6o1_500.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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4. Please don't ever, ever kill off Mrs. Hughes. I will stop watching it, if you do. She is by far the best character in this entire thing. And don't kill off the Dowager Lady Grantham either, if you don't mind.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqWxTRsbPJXvHaIeScW61mCBBoLpglM8ZfzKV3VchmGmnxZKocJCskp6xhdZU8sdD5Ml5hzJSqVhFxmAqUDmKbvAFGWFJ5rixqwWnCPGFy_eajh3_HhNEbIEIZUzYyzAUYjPpn1Ki2W4w/s1600/downton7.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqWxTRsbPJXvHaIeScW61mCBBoLpglM8ZfzKV3VchmGmnxZKocJCskp6xhdZU8sdD5Ml5hzJSqVhFxmAqUDmKbvAFGWFJ5rixqwWnCPGFy_eajh3_HhNEbIEIZUzYyzAUYjPpn1Ki2W4w/s1600/downton7.gif" height="450" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7z4gwnufJ1r8fvju.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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5. It would be nice to see Mrs. Crawley find romance. She does it so well.<br />
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6. To be honest, it's getting rather predictable with all the love affairs and love children that keep popping out of the woodwork. Could we think of some more original story-lines now that those have been done to death? If you're heading into WWII you could really have some fun with thinking up new plot ideas. Lady Mary could join the Resistance. I bet she'd make a super spy making love to the enemy while stabbing him in the back at the same time. She wouldn't even wince.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI_IouS_H-NocBqB6PQvZLo1D0uE9GyICiAvGFyUWPW-oztFmeOJ5yue3ayVGBtAngVoj6j0WQfeDeJ2xWVsYGbOFX7LxmVyqLFJC9NwhqPcM9Pn1_Y6YL_Ay9hScKYXmSV5mLgqqVcOU/s1600/downton8.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgI_IouS_H-NocBqB6PQvZLo1D0uE9GyICiAvGFyUWPW-oztFmeOJ5yue3ayVGBtAngVoj6j0WQfeDeJ2xWVsYGbOFX7LxmVyqLFJC9NwhqPcM9Pn1_Y6YL_Ay9hScKYXmSV5mLgqqVcOU/s1600/downton8.gif" height="288" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md1fa1ct9V1qgiq62o1_500.gif" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Source</a></td></tr>
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And one final thought Mr. Fellowes....<br />
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What happened to Mrs. Patmore's bad eyesight? She never wears her glasses anymore.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdVhQYits6y_YXrcSdNe5Az3a5Ye4HD3WpY62TTL8PzFKf6gccsm0ZsdCQMQRWz-cD1cVxZsUH1t8TtdpDpeZKnw15S_FZY26l2zbmc-CbqnaCaXf12waYM10JtMoIF037rZKvQlNENp8/s1600/downton1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdVhQYits6y_YXrcSdNe5Az3a5Ye4HD3WpY62TTL8PzFKf6gccsm0ZsdCQMQRWz-cD1cVxZsUH1t8TtdpDpeZKnw15S_FZY26l2zbmc-CbqnaCaXf12waYM10JtMoIF037rZKvQlNENp8/s1600/downton1.gif" height="356" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://downtonreactiongifs.tumblr.com/page/3" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Picture Source</a></td></tr>
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-33452903195418910812015-02-15T17:21:00.001+13:002015-02-15T18:25:48.669+13:00The Romance of My Wedding MusicIt was Valentines Day here yesterday, and today my Facebook feed is full of my American friends celebrating.<br />
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Somehow I got to thinking about my wedding, nearly 18 years ago now. I was telling a friend this week who was at our wedding, that it will be 18 years, and they looked shocked. I feel a little shocked myself. Time flies when you're having fun... and busy!<br />
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I am a romantic creature by nature. I'd much rather look through rose-coloured glasses than the prosaic reality of clear. The world just looks more beautiful. My wedding was one of the highlights of my romance. The public declaration of love.<br />
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So when it came to choosing my wedding music, I wanted something beautiful, and fitting for the chapel that we were to get married in. The historic chapel at <a href="http://www.kingscollege.school.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Kings College</a> in Auckland, where my husband spent his school years. I'm only planning on doing this once, so something fitting to the ceremony was needed. The aisle is a bride's dream-come-true, and the college arranged for their organist to accompany the wedding.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirGGOM1ZJfRp0oT7JLNpEAMxJi3srdAX0PN4BM-tdpUsW77UTUHrJzKdM6_TZp5rNuyxM00pmGmNT-1r968nc9FJ6kNkrmZ7ru6oWXWyhbvry-mSAeGaez3DuX9TkIaQkmxQR9i-bOIYI/s1600/chapel2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirGGOM1ZJfRp0oT7JLNpEAMxJi3srdAX0PN4BM-tdpUsW77UTUHrJzKdM6_TZp5rNuyxM00pmGmNT-1r968nc9FJ6kNkrmZ7ru6oWXWyhbvry-mSAeGaez3DuX9TkIaQkmxQR9i-bOIYI/s1600/chapel2.jpg" height="416" width="640" /></a></div>
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So the music was to be a very important part of the ceremony.<br />
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Eighteen years ago weddings were still quite traditional. Mostly they were held in churches and our wedding services are a lot longer (in my experience) here than they are in America. Our service was an hour long which is considered a long time, but generally they are around 30-45 minutes.<br />
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The bridal procession is one of the most important parts of a wedding, and it's one I wanted to do justice to. I had four bridesmaids, a junior bridesmaid and two flower girls, along with two pageboys and a ring bearer. My sister-in-law called it the 'Grand Wedding'. And because of the setting It certainly felt that.<br />
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For beautiful, grand music you can't really beat Handel. I chose two of his famous pieces for my wedding. For the entrance music; the music I walked down the aisle to meet my groom was Handel's Royal Fireworks. It was a perfect moment.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/i7vJ2UFbeXA" width="560"></iframe>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLpZqSGk6xOo_6VTjqxnnmeGVM1FZtmo-7aQy52yAZx1XFSLJNla_eg1ayzc3ciA9U0WvhobrNL0FwMVlXfiJVbtaoLbjQ-K76RA0hN0_VVF_IkIhCPDxo6ZKYWtK1u2C6B1uLX_ZFiY/s1600/chapel1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKLpZqSGk6xOo_6VTjqxnnmeGVM1FZtmo-7aQy52yAZx1XFSLJNla_eg1ayzc3ciA9U0WvhobrNL0FwMVlXfiJVbtaoLbjQ-K76RA0hN0_VVF_IkIhCPDxo6ZKYWtK1u2C6B1uLX_ZFiY/s1600/chapel1.jpg" height="640" width="472" /></a></div>
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During the wedding ceremony my sister who was learning operatic singing gave us a beautiful rendition of Handel's Largo by Xerxes. I have a recording of the entire ceremony, but it is on an ancient video tape, so we are still needing to transfer it to a more updated file, but here is a youtube version of what my sister sang and she was accompanied by the organ.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uMlxM69ZJFA" width="420"></iframe><br />
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The last piece of music to choose was the recessional music, or the music for when we would leave the church a married couple. We happened upon this hymn accidentally one day when we called in to the chapel with the videographer to look at lighting. The organist was practising and as I walked into this beautiful, dark chapel with its stained-glass windows and wooden pews and the high vaulted ceiling overhead and it's old, solemn atmosphere, the music sounded glorious and triumphant and we both looked at each other and knew that we had to have that in our wedding. Can you guess what it was? One of my favourite hymns. Prince William and Kate had it during their wedding also.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Sc9Ww3rmT7I" width="560"></iframe><br />
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I know it is the trend at the moment to have more modern music in wedding ceremonies, but I love that we chose classical, timeless music for our wedding. I still love listening to all three nearly 20 years later.<br />
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I'd love to know what music you had for walking down the aisle. It's a very personal choice, I think.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-57808372615212932682015-02-12T18:14:00.000+13:002015-02-12T18:17:32.940+13:00The Over-night Trip to the City<br />
A couple of weekends ago, Rob and I travelled to Auckland for the wedding of a family friend and decided to stay overnight in the city as the wedding would be sure to run late.<br />
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As I have mentioned before, we have a tradition every year to get away on our own for a weekend. We do it for our marriage. When you have 4 children who are all so busy, it's easy to put your relationship to the side for the sake of practicality. So once the kids reached a certain age, (because we don't have grandparents living locally), we have to coordinate it in with my parents where they come and mind the children for us so we can get away on our own.<br />
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Going up to the wedding was not the planned weekend that we usually have - it was supposed to be just an overnighter before coming back home, so after we had arranged a sleep over for the kids at a cousin's house, we decided to treat ourselves anyway, and went for a mystery voucher bought online. Once we had purchased it, we'd be told where would be going. We knew it would be a hotel in the city.<br />
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We struck gold, and I was clapping my hands when Rob told me we were staying at the Hilton Auckland!<br />
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Last time I stayed at a Hilton was in Turtle Bay, Hawaii, 22 years ago!<br />
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My husband loves Auckland. It's where he was born and grew up. Me, I like it, but I don't love it. It's not home for me, even though I lived there from the age of 13. Home for me is Marlborough, where I was born and where I spent my wonderful childhood.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsf1Odgs9F5DU4_JtKDJW67jCn9A3eReaiZ1GS__bYwovFKCxBGZ3FISaKbBI_br7vQOUZlYfrsI8lSCzpTX1xTD92ILooJgNl1bafWJSvJPatQzhU8QgR950rh04XbNl2Iif2TaYp2tk/s1600/IMG_2426.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsf1Odgs9F5DU4_JtKDJW67jCn9A3eReaiZ1GS__bYwovFKCxBGZ3FISaKbBI_br7vQOUZlYfrsI8lSCzpTX1xTD92ILooJgNl1bafWJSvJPatQzhU8QgR950rh04XbNl2Iif2TaYp2tk/s1600/IMG_2426.JPG" height="480" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The view from the Hilton Reception.</td></tr>
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We pulled up outside the lobby of the Hilton in our red Suzuki Swift. (So glad we didn't travel up in our people-mover)! Haha!<br />
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Our room was lovely, looking out onto the pool area.<br />
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We barely had time to freshen up before heading to the wedding reception, and it was after midnight when we returned. The nightclubs were buzzing. There was a huge line of people outside one club, and a traffic jam of cars. We had to wait in the queue to drive quietly down to the hotel, which is perched out on a wharf over the ocean. It looks a little like a ship from a distance.<br />
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I have to say the beds at this hotel are amazing. You just sink into them. We had set the air-conditioning really low, so it was quite cold by the time we returned from the wedding. For the first time this summer, it felt so nice to curl up under the blankets rather than having to throw them off.<br />
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The thing I love about this hotel is the late checkout, which meant Rob and I could go and have a leisurely brunch in the hotel restaurant before leaving.<br />
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We checked out after our breakfast and headed into the city, with one shop in mind. <a href="http://www.smithandcaugheys.co.nz/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Smith and Caugheys</a> and <a href="http://www.starbucks.co.nz/stores/auckland/aotea-square/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Starbucks</a>.<br />
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We had to take photos of every flash car we saw, for our car-crazy 10 year old son.<br />
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Before heading up to Queen Street, we stopped and wandered around the Maritime Museum. Always, always looking for <a href="http://southseaislandhome.blogspot.co.nz/2013/09/a-love-affair-with-classic-little-ship.html" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">the old <i>Viking</i></a>, the classic NZ yacht my Grandfather and Great Grandfather lovingly tended for many years, and who we used to play on when we were children and she was anchored in a little bay in Marlborough Sounds. But she is no longer there at the Maritime Museum, though she once was, many years ago, when we had afternoon tea on board with her owners.<br />
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As we walked up Queen Street, we were waiting at a pedestrian traffic light, when a group of Italian tourists came up to me. One of the ladies asked me in her beautiful Italian accent where a good place to eat was, because, as she said, "we are Italians, and we like to eat good food."<br />
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We headed to our favourite Department Store and wandered through, and bought a very beautiful vase to put in our new house. And then we finally headed for Starbucks for a coffee before hitting the road to go home.<br />
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It was such a lovely little respite for us, this quick jaunt to the city, that I am planning our getaway weekend up here later in the year. Rob was disappointed to see Queen Street looking so shabby and run down, but it was nice to visit Auckland again and to have a few hours just to enjoy this part of the city without distractions.<br />
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-83376668898458149992015-02-09T10:09:00.000+13:002015-02-09T10:16:10.254+13:00Rekindling the Romance with ReadingWhen I was a child and a teenager, my favourite thing to do was to read.<br />
I devoured books, and I scoured second hand book shops. Honestly, I was so bad, every time we even passed a secondhand book shop in the car my father would just say 'no' before I'd even have a chance to ask. My husband (sometimes) bemoans the fact that our garage is full of boxes of books collected from these second-hand jaunts. (I can't wait to get our house built with plenty of shelving installed for them).<br />
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Now, when my life is full of children and school and timetables and committee meetings and cooking and writing, reading has taken a back seat. Second hand bookshops are only for times when I'm on my annual weekend getaway with my husband.<br />
And I miss having the luxury of time for reading.<br />
So this year I've decided to allow time for that. Even if it's just half an hour with a real book.<br />
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I'm rekindling the romance.<br />
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I've brought myself a whacking great diary for this year, and I put everything in it, even down to scheduling reading time. With life being so busy I am having to slot my work and my leisure into a much more organised time frame than I have previously been used to. I have 5 books to finish writing this year alone!<br />
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One of the benefits of being in a large family like my husband's, is that I have nieces and nephews who are adults and so sometimes I manage to get caught up on the younger, modern generation and what's hip at the moment. So when my niece Angela told me over the weekend that she was joining in with the <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2015/01/2015-reading-challenge/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">ModernMrsDarcy</a>'s reading challenge, I was keen to hear more!<br />
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One book a month! I'm pretty sure I can handle that!<br />
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I've already missed January, so rather than try and catch up, I'm going to start in February.<br />
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This month's suggestion: <i>A Book Published This Year.</i><br />
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I'm trying to decide between two books.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Girl-Train-A-Novel/dp/1594633665/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_z" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">The Girl on the Train</a> by Paula Hawkins<br />
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<br />
or<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Spool-Blue-Thread-novel/dp/1101874279/ref=zg_bsnr_books_6" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">A Spool of Thread</a> by Anne Tyler<br />
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<br />
Two books of very different styles and genres. One is a thriller and one is about a family.<br />
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I am not familiar with either of these authors - have any of you read either of these books, or even other works by these authors, and can give me your opinion? I'd love to know!<br />
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Do you have a reading challenge for the year? Do you even set one? I've done these before, and generally find that failure sets in a few weeks later, but this one seems achievable, and I'm looking forward to getting back my love of reading.<br />
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I plan on ordering the actual books to read. Even though so much of my life is online at the moment, you can't quite beat the feeling of real paper between your fingers. No more torch under the bedcovers for me anymore, though, as I did as a child, though it might be fun to try it like that again just for the sake of nostalgia.<br />
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What do you think?<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Photo Source:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/92574222@N00/5751128970">And It Was Called Yellow</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com/">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/">(license)</a>
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southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2228441480278570603.post-10524791121378864432015-01-25T17:06:00.001+13:002015-01-25T18:46:23.268+13:00Lost Without You - remembering our dog CricketAfter all my New Year resolutions to blog more regularly, something happened last week and I knew I wouldn't be able to write about anything until I had written about this, and it's taken me a week to have the fortitude to do it.<br />
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In the last of the afternoon sun, lying in his favourite, shady spot at our family beach house, our dog refused to get up. We were heading down to the beach for a late afternoon swim and Cricket our 12 year old dog, loved his swims. Just a few days before, he was surfing in the low tidal waves, swimming out for his stick and swimming back, shaking the water from his black coat. He loved the water, our dog. He was a Labrador, after all. Food and water and people are what they live for.<br />
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He was getting old though, even while trying to pretend he wasn't. He didn't grey much at all in his later years, just a little tuft under his chin, but he still liked to think he was a young dog. It wasn't until this summer that I really noticed him starting to slow down for the first time. He wouldn't run down the steps to the beach like he used to, and due to the gradual onset of his degenerative myelopathy, couldn't walk very far, for very long.<br />
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But Cricket refused to get up. He turned his head and looked at all of us. We were all there on the deck waiting for him. This was so unusual for him to not get up and come with us, that my instincts kicked in and I ran for the phone to call a vet. But Cricket being Cricket had it his way. There would be no vet clinic for him, and no long goodbyes. He just died.<br />
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The beach property was always his favourite place to go. He was free here to swim, to rummage around in the bush and even the weekend before he died baled up a Possum who dared to come onto our deck. So we buried him there. High on the hill, overlooking the house, under the shade of the trees, with the sound of the ocean below.<br />
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<span id="goog_1528163528"></span><span id="goog_1528163529"></span><br />
I've always been a dog girl. Some people are cat people and some are dog people. I'm a dog person.<br />
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But this dog got under my skin. More so even, than my childhood dog Prince, who I loved so much he slept on my bed every night. I even wrote a book about him. But Cricket was a special dog to me, and I think it was because he loved my children so much. I know that he would have protected them with his life, if he had to.<br />
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We bought Cricket from a Labrador breeder in Dunedin in 2003. He was a purebred with a long lineage of beautiful, celebrated ancestors. We picked him out from a visit to the kennel when he came running towards us out of a large litter of little black and golden puppies. My oldest son, Hugh, who was 3 years old at the time took an instant liking to him. He seemed perfect for us.<br />
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One of our first jobs as his owner was to give him his pedigree name. We must have been in our Jane Austen era at the time, because we eventually named him Knightly of Prior Hill. Prior Hill was the name of our house and 20 acres that we had just recently completed building in Earnscleugh, Central Otago. We lived in the foothills of the Old Man mountain range, and the name seemed apt for this little dog.<br />
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There are a few memories that stand out for me about Cricket.<br />
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Our vet has always called him a 'real dog'. And that is the truth. Cricket loved the outdoors. As he got older we would bring him inside at night because we thought he would prefer it, but we should have known better. We should have remembered how he was when he was younger, for 2 hours into the night, he'd be scratching at the door and whining and wouldn't stop until we had let him outside again.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYi-5mPRToVteq2_xUaMnRgfIY1ZcTvqb44_D-3lWgXiJ7OLLtcP5rEDOaK8jqetwd0pVYIoohok6OVY86vFiSvVDyCpZM7pRKwZ8R1vwMO7p25vSymzIekOeZDsD6aluUjPwWV9ym8AA/s1600/IMG_4792.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYi-5mPRToVteq2_xUaMnRgfIY1ZcTvqb44_D-3lWgXiJ7OLLtcP5rEDOaK8jqetwd0pVYIoohok6OVY86vFiSvVDyCpZM7pRKwZ8R1vwMO7p25vSymzIekOeZDsD6aluUjPwWV9ym8AA/s1600/IMG_4792.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">One of Cricket's last swims. </span></td></tr>
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That happened last winter, and I remember laughing about it because when he was a young dog, and we still lived in Otago, where we would have very severe winters, we set Cricket up with a lovely warm kennel under the eaves of our house, along the porch outside the kitchen. I bought hot water bottles and would fill it with warm water every night to tuck under his blankets when he went to bed, but we went through so many hot water bottles before we gave up, for every morning we'd come out to find the hot water bottle shredded to pieces, scattered all over the frost or snow, and Cricket lying in the snow a few feet from his kennel. Oh that dog!<br />
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He was loved by so many people. Sometimes, when we were going away and weren't able to take him with us, we would have to book him in for a holiday at the kennels. Every single kennel he ever went to, the owners ended up falling in love with him.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Just a few days before he died, the kids dressed him up as a super hero.</span></td></tr>
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Another enduring memory that I will never forget, and one that made me love him even more, is of a cold winter in Christchurch when we were renovating an old house. I was homeschooling at the time, and one day had all the children sitting around the dining room table, with Cricket lying under the table on our feet. Our builder, who we liked and who really liked Cricket (he was a dog person too), came into the room and asked if he could use our bathroom. As he passed us, he leaned over in his friendly way, to pat my oldest son on his head. As his arm came out, Cricket shot out from under the table and gave the most terrifying bark, jumping up at the builder as he did so. As if to say, "don't you dare to touch my boy."<br />
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We all were rather shocked, but the builder understood dogs and knew Cricket was just defending his 'pack', and fortunately Cricket only gave him a warning and did nothing to harm him. But that was when I really knew that Cricket would truly defend us if he had to.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9dVmOMlQ2KhtQA2MaswNYNaD4k0I5pEEK_4wtivDRbIpplPn55wEijU8UaSEv9S4W21RZgpRLm8Hr1556PBCmhAVBQCSiiAuJh0DoRNIscJV5xNskg-6e5qJKTWF5FBVAl6iurdQ6aOc/s1600/IMG_4782.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9dVmOMlQ2KhtQA2MaswNYNaD4k0I5pEEK_4wtivDRbIpplPn55wEijU8UaSEv9S4W21RZgpRLm8Hr1556PBCmhAVBQCSiiAuJh0DoRNIscJV5xNskg-6e5qJKTWF5FBVAl6iurdQ6aOc/s1600/IMG_4782.JPG" height="426" width="640" /></a></div>
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I saw that instinct to protect so many times. Even last summer when our younger son was learning to kayak in the shallows of our bay. Cricket, faithful as ever, followed along behind him as he did laps up and down the beach in the kayak.<br />
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When the children were at school, he was my companion. Always there. Always ready to give cuddles and licks. He let me know when the postie had been, and I felt safe in my home. He always alerted me to anyone on the property.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4wDsTSQZCsLHSu0LZxsgDNGNrQgYYrJYSWAx6Rq87-9pTKfBERV-NjOovOMdmWBLHiZU_ttVLMot2J8EeADMQp3SBpn7VHxKlWKzz1emh1uGSNLKCY78kRl4TrkjKrx0kML-EAqo4xYc/s1600/cricketdog3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4wDsTSQZCsLHSu0LZxsgDNGNrQgYYrJYSWAx6Rq87-9pTKfBERV-NjOovOMdmWBLHiZU_ttVLMot2J8EeADMQp3SBpn7VHxKlWKzz1emh1uGSNLKCY78kRl4TrkjKrx0kML-EAqo4xYc/s1600/cricketdog3.jpg" height="640" width="426" /></a></div>
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Cricket hated cats. At one of our houses, the neighbour's cat would taunt him, sitting high up on the terraced garden, where the cat knew Cricket couldn't get him. He'd walk up and down, looking over at our dog. When Cricket deigned to notice it, he would give one bark and the cat would be gone, but that cat liked tormenting him. Cats were evil incarnate to Cricket. The temptation of chasing a cat would sometimes be too great, if we were out on a walk and we came across one.<br />
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So many lovely memories of this dog. He has been a wonderful part of our family. He has loved us, protected us and given us so much joy. I hope we gave to him as much as he has given to us.<br />
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He has been known to dig up a rose bush belonging to a friend, in her own garden, no less, and spend hours digging through the dirt mound of our building site looking for rats or rabbits.<br />
Going to the vet clinic was an adventure in itself. Not because Cricket was afraid of it, but because he was too enthusiastic once we got there. Oh the smells. Oh the other dogs to get to know - often terrifying them, because even in his old age he was boisterous and huge. At our last visit I remember the vet and I laughing at him sliding all over the room on the vinyl floor, poking his nose into as many corners he could find.<br />
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How do you grieve the passing of a loved pet? It's hard. I found it harder this time than I ever have before when I have lost a pet. I miss him! I don't want him to be dead. I want him to come back. I still find myself going to feed him every night after we have eaten. I still have his kennel and dog bowl outside, and it just doesn't feel the same anymore without him.<br />
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I know he did well to live to 12 years. The life span of a Labrador is on average, 11 years. I was hoping he would last another year until we moved into our new house because apart from his slow paralysis he was an otherwise healthy dog. We always kept him in good shape and had very little arthritis in his joints. I was hoping that we could have made the transition easier for our children and another year would have given us that. Now we have to wait 12-18 months before we think of getting another dog, and it's hard being without a dog. I don't like it. Not one little bit.<br />
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Because we are renting, we cannot get another dog until we are in our new home. But I did feel a little better today after emailing a local breeder to put our name on the waiting list. Not to replace Cricket, because he will always have a special place in our hearts and memories always. But life just doesn't feel right without a dog, and I know I'll be counting down the months and weeks until we can get another.<br />
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Farewell old friend. We loved you and we are thankful for you and for looking after us so well and being part of our lives.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOkSUxFSHZ5261PPjR1f0xsjF1m1uok5zyo-CFlwNB1G54ncl5i5ngNXmPnq2QJ-dYdhwCTV1YUahlXFwX5rAuqc2VqW-owoJWIf8P4Ued2467QBTgdMvhz_HryaA4F1g7xJxBcszphV4/s1600/cricket7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOkSUxFSHZ5261PPjR1f0xsjF1m1uok5zyo-CFlwNB1G54ncl5i5ngNXmPnq2QJ-dYdhwCTV1YUahlXFwX5rAuqc2VqW-owoJWIf8P4Ued2467QBTgdMvhz_HryaA4F1g7xJxBcszphV4/s1600/cricket7.jpg" height="640" width="598" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Cricket - the week before he died.</span></td></tr>
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<br />southseaislandhomehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01177834665382411343noreply@blogger.com8